Hi Rose21 - I just came across this and I wanted to reach out... .
The title of your post says that your divorce was about to be final on Friday - I assume that was 3 days ago. I imagine you're going through a lot right now.
How are you doing?
Why does it feel as though we are both waiting for something to happen its as if we are waiting for the rain to fall waiting for that one drop of rain to give us hope again but all we find day after day is disappointment how much longer will we wait which will give up first i guess i have checked out long ago but why does it feel as though our story hasn't ended maybe its the things you say to me that just give me this false image that ive longed for why cant our time be done why are we both dragging our feet why when we look at each other we still see hope when will this feeling end will it ever.
This brought tears to my eyes. So many familiar thoughts and feelings here for me - "checking out long ago", "both dragging our feet" - thank you for sharing this.
i love my BPD but it seems as though the pain continues on for a lifetime
I've read enough stories to know this is absolutely NOT true - the pain fades, life has a way of helping us move on to what's next for us. I hope you can find this path.
is there really hope to remain in a relationship with a BPD has anyone had any success in maintaining an actual healthy relationship with one.
... .
I want nothing more than to become a family again but not at the cost of myself and putting my daughter through fights and rage all over again.
Having a healthy RELATIONSHIP requires both parties to be willing and able to do some really hard work, as a couple AND as an individual.
Our job is to do the individual work, and be open to doing the couples work. The trick is finding someone in the same or similar position.
I am hopeful that you can find someone willing to be on the same journey as you. The first thing to do is learn how to look for that kind of person.
Those of us who post on the Conflicted board tend to be stuck in a spot trying to look left, right, center, anywhere we can find a place to take a safe next step. Maybe you've found that place to take a step. Maybe you're still looking emotionally. There are other communities on this site that have things to say once we take those steps. I hope you'll look around. Your voice can bring comfort to others and vice versa.
I hope that you're taking good care of yourself. When you find some time, please let us know how things are going.
~DaddyBear77
