Side Effects of not "rocking the boat"

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I was just reading through some other posts, and it made me reflect a little.  I know most of us either have in the past, or currently do keep things to ourselves in order to not make our pwBPD angry... .(I always think of the Incredible Hulk... ."You wouldn't like me when I'm angry" LOL)... .Anyway... .my question is do any of you find yourself having stronger reactions to other things in your life than what is called for in that situation, because you feel safer getting upset or whatever?

I was just thinking... .maybe a side effect of me keeping my trap shut all the time at home, is making me have disproportionate reactions to say, traffic, or an annoying co-worker, etc... .

So, if any of you have noticed this also, what do you do about it?  How do you prevent it? 

[ImWrecked]

I was just reading through some other posts, and it made me reflect a little.  I know most of us either have in the past, or currently do keep things to ourselves in order to not make our pwBPD angry... .(I always think of the Incredible Hulk... ."You wouldn't like me when I'm angry" LOL)... .Anyway... .my question is do any of you find yourself having stronger reactions to other things in your life than what is called for in that situation, because you feel safer getting upset or whatever?

I was just thinking... .maybe a side effect of me keeping my trap shut all the time at home, is making me have disproportionate reactions to say, traffic, or an annoying co-worker, etc... .

So, if any of you have noticed this also, what do you do about it?  How do you prevent it? 

[Sugarlily]

I find myself over reacting to events at work that are unfair. A couple of weeks ago I had three unfair things happen in one day and found myself very hyper and anxious. A couple of co-workers expressed concern as I am normally very calm. During that time I had been repressing feelings about some things my Bf had done.

I also find with him that I will not say anything about a stream of criticism and passive aggressive comments and then he will say something in a public place and I will stand up for myself as I feel safer.

[ImWrecked]

Ohhhh, I hate, HATE the public place arguments!  WOW, really one of the most annoying, hard to deal with  things about all of this.  As if "it" in and of itself is not annoying and hard to deal with. 

[Linda Maria]

Hi I'm Wrecked!  Absolutely - when my situation with my uBPD sis was at its height last year, and there was nothing I could do to relieve my stress (as I hadn't yet realised NC was the only way to stop it), I would find myself being hypersensitive, and getting overly cross with my kids particularly.  I realised that I wasn't "there" for them in the way I normally am - because I was so preoccupied and obsessed with the situation with uBPDsis, and I had absolutely no tolerance for any kind of stress or difficulty.  Looking back I was clearly depressed, but in some ways I was lucky because if it had happened earlier, when I was still working at a stressful job, I would not have coped at all.  So - yep - think it's completely normal to not be able to handle other "normal" conflict situations, and to overreact, and be oversensitive.  That is what is so debilitating about the whole thing.  Also - when you realise you are being like this, it makes you feel worse, and you start thinking - maybe it is me - I'm the one overreacting - maybe I've got the problem!  Nightmare!  JB

[Sugarlily]

Ohhhh, I hate, HATE the public place arguments!  WOW, really one of the most annoying, hard to deal with  things about all of this.  As if "it" in and of itself is not annoying and hard to deal with. 

So do I and get annoyed with myself for letting them happen, however a bit of my former self seems to rear up and make comment or ask him to stop being critical and then it all goes very wrong. I never feel I can win though, if stay public it is all passive aggressive silent treatment, but embarrassing all the same. If I move it somewhere private, like the car then I end up trapped in a circular argument! Currently mine has left me over one of these public arguments.