Living with the devil

[fogeater]

i been a reader of this place for a while now it is crazy how every thing every one says matches my wife and our lives im to the point of leaving her but i feel like i shouldnt i want to take care of her and be there for her as a husband.

i was seeing a mental health professional and he told me my mother law is a BPD waif and amy wife BPD he gave me the book walking on egg shells it really opened my eyes and i am here today.

i been with my wife for 13 years now were married for four years she has always argued and fought at a drop of a dime she always says tired and ill she always yells and ignores me and punish me and her family its like shes a monster. when i met her she was always arguing with her mother calling her names and attacking her man making her do every thing for her. i was distracted by the way she looked and she told me thats how they talk they joke alot. but as we grew together  i can see her mother was a slave for her to do her every bidding or my wife would lose her mind throw fits yell curse scream at her, i kept busy with work and school she was sweet outside but at her home she was bonkers.

time went by and her niece moved in she was 6 i took care of her like my own child but my wife would treat her like crap yelling screaming cursing at her . i was shocked she can do this to a innocent girl and a old women.i would read her stories in bed and lights would shine bright in front of the house and the little girl would freak out and cry in fear i asked whats wrong she would cry and shake in fear from my wife i could only try to protect her so much, the interaction with my wife niece and her mother was one of the most odd things i have ever witnessed .

i found out later that her mother was directing my wife to do things around the house cause my mother in law did not want to do it her self so my wife didnt want to do it so they would pawn there chores and work on my niece she didnt want to do it as well its three generations of BPDs they would fight like cats in dogs for years.one day the little girl would be out side playing and my wife locked all the doors and covered all the doors and blinds and the little girls would knock and bang on the door and scream let me in and my wife would say no she seemed to enjoy punishing her she was the devil she always got to have a victim to blame for her insanity her rages and lies.

one day i just got sick of it so i went to her mother and i said this have to end we have to have a intervention and she said lets do it so i said lets meet at the house and talk to her at 2:00pm
me and her mom was there and she sat down i said me and your mom wants to talk she said about what i said we want to have a intervention she lost her mind went on a rage and my mother in law said i never agreeded to that what are you talking about how dare you i look at her and i was shocked  what i was hearing so i left he room i vowed never to talk to her again.

more years went on more fighting more screaming more divorce treats that was a weekly thing still is the state gave me and my wife custody of my niece and we went to a theripist and i told her all that was going on she said her mother was the queen and barked order to my wife and if it wasnt followed she would get mad so she told her mother to move out she did for a couple days it was wonderful she would come back and we would be eating at the table and i would walk out to avoid conflit and my wife would get angry at me for doing so i dont know what eles to do she would lie and talk under her breath and make up stories so i would look bad to my wife. that day my wife called me and told me to come home or she will divorce me i couldnt leave i was in school usally i would drive my niece to school and it would be ok but my wife took her that morning and all hell has broken lose and there was a big fight my neice hit my wife and choked her and brought her down to the ground and i got to tell you i was happy about that but she called the cops and she was shipped to a foster home.

today i have acess to my wifes text and her phone i can see her mom ordering her for me to do things and clean things while they both do nothing thins been a on going thing i keep tell her to throw her out but she is to close to her plus she needs a victim.her mom would slam doors and give me dirty looks so one day i taped her and she lost her mind i text my wife the video she told me if i proved it she would take my side i asked her so ru taking my side like you said she said she never said that i was shocked again i also found out her mom was sharing her ip so she saw my text and the video she was acting like a child she makes a kids voice and acts mental its scary. my wife want to have kids but now i dont want to i can see what she did with my neice and others im scared she will turn them aginst me im scared she would push me out i want to leave but i want to make a exit plan but i dont know whats holding me back she calls me all the names in the book and forgets what shes says or says i didnt say that i dont know what to do any more i want a normal life.

sorry for the spelling.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Meili]

That all sounds extremely stressful and I applaud your strength for dealing with it for so long. I'm sorry that you've had to go through all of it, but I'm glad that you found us. We can help you learn new ways of handling the situations that you described and support you as you go down your path.

Speaking of support, what kind of support do you have there? Friends? Family? Are you seeing a therapist for all of the stress, etc?

I believe you will be greatly comforted by the support here and the fact that we really understand what you are going through. We've all been there to varying degrees. Take care of yourself. We will look out for future posts from you.