Being more validating

[3ree]

Recently my fiancée and I have been going through a bit of a rough patch. I feel like I’m dammed if I do and dammed if I don’t. One minute we can be fine, but something seemingly small can set them off. I want to help her and learn ways to be more validating. It’s hard for me to be open because I get told that I’m not open enough no matter what I do.

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[Las1604]

Depending how far on the spectrum she is, you could be the most validating person in the world and it could still be not enough. It could be to a point where she feels smothered by it. Sometimes you need to keep your distance and let her come to you. Just in my experience.

[3ree]

That makes sense. We’re currently living in her parents house and they don’t really understand mental illness. We aren’t in a place financially right now where we can afford to move out. So she’s living in an environment where she doesn’t feel supported and I think at times I’m too smothering because I’m scared she might hurt herself or worse because she has a lot of suicidal thoughts.