Sometimes I would buy something for my uBPDh, and he would either seem annoyed, or never touch it. He wouldn't thank me. Yes I would feel disappointed as I think one "reward" of gifting is seeing somebody appreciate the gift. It's a source of happiness for the gifter. But seems as though pwBPDs are less capable of doing that.
I have somewhat learnt to let go of expectations. I bought something for him, if he likes it and uses it, that's great. If he doesn't... well I tried.
This is such an interesting insight, one I haven’t previously seen discussed before.
I’ve observed this too, and the irony is that my husband expects grand expressions of appreciation for things he does. (Or he will complain that he’s *not appreciated*
)
However, he is capable of expressing appreciation to other people at times, so he obviously knows how to do it.
What I’m thinking is that sometimes the gifts I spontaneously give him or the things I do for him feel invalidating to him for some reason I don’t comprehend.
He does express appreciation sometimes, but it’s so peculiar those times when he doesn’t. It seems so ungracious and thoughtless.