Finally told him everything I've held in for the past 2 years...

[Newkate]

After being recycled one too many times, and having this last recycling period be extremely brief... . I decided enough is enough. We had a camping trip planned. He spent the night. We cuddled. When I awoke he was gone. He then contacted me and told me that he did not think we were right for each other anymore. Two days prior, he was staring at me from across the table, telling me he wanted a family with me.

I used to post on the undecided board, but I finally told him that I cannot do this anymore.

I sent him an email because he is cowardly and does not do well in person with these kinds of things (he likes to have time to think over the verbose, poetic and metaphorical-type language he can use, and the verbal daggers he can throw). I told him I had held everything in for two years, fearing that it would be the end-all, but that he ends things anyways, when all I have given him was unconditional love and compassion. So there I was, not holding back. I told him that I thought he had serious issues that he needed to get help for. I told him that if he did not get help, he will continue to destroy any relationships around him.

I believe he has dysregulated as his responses are very unemotional and quite honestly, do not make a lot of sense. It is definitely like he is not really comprehending what I am clearly stating.

I feel stronger than I have ever felt... . but I still feel weak. I cried all day yesterday to the point my eyelids were so swollen that I could barely open them. But today, I got up, got to work on time, and got a lot done. Now I'm going to go to yoga, and have some me time. BUT... . I'm scared. And sad. And I still love him. I just wish he could stay good bf, not no empathy, hurtful bf. I just don't want to cry anymore.

[eyvindr]

Newkate,

I'm sorry. You deserve better. Sounds like you've accepted that, at least.

It's hard. Sucks, actually. One long, non-stop suck for sure.

But stay strong. You're going to be fine.

Hang in there.

[Newkate]

Thank you so much, Eyvindr.

The part I can't get over is... . is there really someone who is sane and who can be as romantic and connected to me (in his normal moments)? I've never met someone as romantic as him before, and I don't know if I will. I felt like he was my soulmate. I know they have a way of doing that... . whirling you around in this fairytale romance, but is that just the disorder?

May I ask how long you have been out of your relationship?

[Learning_curve74]

The part I can't get over is... . is there really someone who is sane and who can be as romantic and connected to me (in his normal moments)? I've never met someone as romantic as him before, and I don't know if I will. I felt like he was my soulmate. I know they have a way of doing that... . whirling you around in this fairytale romance, but is that just the disorder?

Yes and yes!

Ask yourself some questions. Would your true soulmate drop you like a hot potato at the drop of a dime? If you think so, why do you feel like you deserve this type of treatment? What is it you truly want from your "soulmate"? This isn't a rhetorical question, you might want to write out a list of the characteristics you require and the ones that are deal breakers. Does your bf truly have all the requirements and none of the deal breakers?

With the billions of people alive on this world, logic says there must be many people who could truly be your "soulmate". There are many honest, caring, romantic, loving, very REAL people out there.

And finally a hug for you because you deserve one.