I'm not sure where to start

[Jade Gray]

It hurts. The way he suddenly talks to me with such venom and hostility. I love him, not the disorder but him yes. It just hurts that one minute he's there and the next minute he's not. Or he's someone else. Looking at me through the darkest lens and talking to me so harshly. Because I "wasn't really listening" and now "saying you *are* listening doesn't mean anything because you can't admit that you weren't listening before".
Perhaps this should be an introduction - my first time here - but I'm at a loss. No articulated question right now, just pain.
I miss the guy I had this morning.
Thanks for reading.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Mutt]

Hi Jade Gray   I'm sorry to hear that. How long have you been split black? How long have you been together?

[JoeBPD81]

Hi Jade,
I  know exactly what you are going through, I bet many people here do. I'm a newbie, so it's just a guess.

You go to meet your loved one, you do your best to be at his side all the time, and you find another person instead that has a strong reason to hate you and looks at you as if you were a monster.

My GF said she's not the person I knew before. That she's full of anger and that she's not interested in being a good person or care about others anymore. That she is not relationship material and that I knew that from the beginning... Then 2 days later she could be wonderful, and say things that contradict all that, and thank me in tears for sticking around. It's really hard to know who she really is and whether she loves me. But I believe we can learn to make it much better, for us and for them.

At the very least, you found this site, and you know you are not alone.

[Tattered Heart]

Hi Jade Gray,

Welcome to the board . Many of us have experienced the exact same scenario. It can be so frustrating to constantly be told what your intent is, even when that intent is not true. You will find a lot of support in living with your pwBPD. Looking forward to getting to know you more.

[Olinda]

Oh I hear you.  It's hard when the switching happens several times in one day.  And there's no apology or acknowledgement of how unreasonable they were an hour ago.  And then you are asked why you are being distant,  when you are just trying to be quiet and avoid drama.  Yes,  I'm distant cuz I'm not sure which version of you is here next to me and distance is protection. 

This is hard... .