Today is my daughter's 33rd birthday...

[Parents! Get help here!]

I wasn't there the day she was born to a birth mother in Korea. She was placed in my arms 16 weeks later and her dad, 2 sisters and I were thrilled. She was catatonic for the first 2 weeks; not interested in the bottle, stiff as a board, staring into space. After 2 weeks of that, (we were well educated in adoption expectations) she started to cry. She cried 24/7 except when her tiny body gave in to exhaustion and fell asleep for exactly 20 minutes... .only to start crying again. She cried so much that she projectile vomited whatever formula she managed to drink.

That was the start of our 33 year nightmare. We had such happy loving and close family; we thought adoption would be a good way to add to our family. If we knew then what we know now?... .I can't imagine what I would do. I think we have been excellent parents. Our other children have grown to be successful adults with happy families. Our DBPD daughter is caught in a whirlpool of anger, turmoil, depression and, well, if you're reading this, you know.

My husband (her dad) and I have not been in her company for 19 months after a horrible  and embarrassing incident of red zone rage happened in a public place. We have talked to her by phone and have had periods of relative peace and then, out of the blue, it seems like she becomes possessed by demons. I have been harassed and harangued via text, email and phone, telling me what a horrible mother I am along with other hurtful insults. The pain of her anger directed at me is palpable. I feel physically ground down and beaten.

I just want it to stop.

I have loved and supported her throughout the difficult years; I do not scream, berate, belittle; I am sympathetic to the struggle she has. I think I have come to believe that this will never end and it will continue to be the burden our family has to carry. Our other children, her siblings, have "divorced" themselves from her to protect themselves and their children from her rages and wrath. Truthfully, at this point, I want to do the same. It is so demoralizing to have a person like this in my life. But, I am a mother, and I keep going... .

[OutOfGas]

I wasn't there the day she was born to a birth mother in Korea. She was placed in my arms 16 weeks later and her dad, 2 sisters and I were thrilled. She was catatonic for the first 2 weeks; not interested in the bottle, stiff as a board, staring into space. After 2 weeks of that, (we were well educated in adoption expectations) she started to cry. She cried 24/7 except when her tiny body gave in to exhaustion and fell asleep for exactly 20 minutes... .only to start crying again. She cried so much that she projectile vomited whatever formula she managed to drink.

That was the start of our 33 year nightmare. We had such happy loving and close family; we thought adoption would be a good way to add to our family. If we knew then what we know now?... .I can't imagine what I would do. I think we have been excellent parents. Our other children have grown to be successful adults with happy families. Our DBPD daughter is caught in a whirlpool of anger, turmoil, depression and, well, if you're reading this, you know.

My husband (her dad) and I have not been in her company for 19 months after a horrible  and embarrassing incident of red zone rage happened in a public place. We have talked to her by phone and have had periods of relative peace and then, out of the blue, it seems like she becomes possessed by demons. I have been harassed and harangued via text, email and phone, telling me what a horrible mother I am along with other hurtful insults. The pain of her anger directed at me is palpable. I feel physically ground down and beaten.

I just want it to stop.

I have loved and supported her throughout the difficult years; I do not scream, berate, belittle; I am sympathetic to the struggle she has. I think I have come to believe that this will never end and it will continue to be the burden our family has to carry. Our other children, her siblings, have "divorced" themselves from her to protect themselves and their children from her rages and wrath. Truthfully, at this point, I want to do the same. It is so demoralizing to have a person like this in my life. But, I am a mother, and I keep going... .

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Eyeamme]

I totally can feel your pain. My daughter and I have stopped talking. I thought I was going to have a breakdown. She texted me such vile things I blocked her. She did the one thing she knew would hurt me most. She told me I couldn't have contact with my grandchildren. I did 34 years of being the best mom I could be. I am not ashamed.

You need to take care of you now. You have what sounds to me, a nice family. Our daughters are sick. They are old enough to get help for themselves. We are entitled to hold our boundaries how we will be treated. Kid or not, we would not let anyone else ever treat us like this.



J.