On this particular trip it’s her seeing life through a lens that everyone here isn’t taking her feelings into account and basically everyone is out to get her. Of course most of the negative energy comes my way because it’s my family.
Can you share a specific example of something that happens and how she responds? Does it really just affect you or other people too? It gives us a better idea of what's going on.
I think it's interesting that it happened on vacation. Have you noticed that her behavior seems worse on special holidays or events?
it’s not easy for me when she’s acting irrational.
You are preaching to the choir. This is absolutely THE most difficult thing for me too. The article I shared talks about not validating the INvalid, which I sometimes do when there's dysregulation. This doesn't come naturally and sometimes my brain just feels drained from thinking so hard.
I often wonder if I could look at myself from the outside if I’d wonder why I wouldn’t just leave. I really grapple with that.
Many folks here want or feel pressured by outside forces to leave. Some do leave. I think it's a common thing to grapple with when your spouse has BPD. What you said about keeping your self respect is really key.
You mentioned that she self-medicates. Does it work, to any degree?