I agree. For my wife her BPD tendencies and traits were amplified when kids arrived. She became obsessed with their perfection, as if any shortcomings in the kids would be negative reflection on her. She has impossibly high standards for them that a kid just can’t meet. Plus, I encourage the kids to think for themselves and to figure out things on their own when possible. But for wife it’s her way ONLY and anything else is a sign of disrespect.
We’re together 16 years and 13 with kids. It’s hell. I feel like I could manage her pretty well when it was just us two, but I can’t manage her moods and emotional swings with kids - currently 13, 11 and 9 - anymore. There are too many potential triggers especially with puberty and the older ones craving independence.
Wow, 16years...
I was mentally broken and exhausted without any kids so,I can't imagine what kind of ride that has been.
I had like 2 major fights in a week with my exbpd and those fights ever made sense.
I guess the circus starts when a child get older, acc.what you said