Bowen Family Theory: Triangulation

[Suassíos]

Thank you to the contributor who mentioned that Bowen Theory might be helpful. I read this in a thread a while back. I ordered a book online and I’m finding it helpful.  I didn’t really get some concepts including triangulation. I’m learning a lot. It’s helpful that the “third” point of a triangle can be the healthy place to be, I think sometimes the exclusion makes one feel wronged, but if the people who are excluding have an dysfunctional point of view, being the third point is the place to be!

I find the dysregulation in my partner and as far as I can see most members of his family very hard to understand, but I did one of those online tests of differentiation (and yes I appreciate that it’s not a score or a test system from the book I’ve read), but that I don’t actually have a completely “intellectual” or rational response all of the time and I also have emotional factors in my responses. Which is ok I think! Just to keep them in check though and to be aware!

I am also interested in the thread this week about telling lies. And how a partner with BPD could corner you into telling something not true to avoid a distressing situation with them. Well my life is just full of distressing situations partly because I just can’t be dishonest, and I don’t mean that in a grandiose way, I think it’s generally good but im probably the annoying person who is just too ridiculously by the book. But I’ve always wondered how BOTH of my husbands parents have a team approach that is dysfunctional, when they come from different families themselves and seem to respond differently initially to situations but this fairly quickly becomes a United team response which is usually set by his Mom. So maybe his dad just goes along with something he knows isn’t true just to have an easier life? Funny my husband said his psychiatrist suggested that might be the case a while back.

I wish it didn’t take so long to learn about all of these patterns of behaviour, and to see the wood from the trees.

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I didn’t really get some concepts including triangulation.

This is a good and brief discussion on triangulation:
https://www.bpdfamily.com/content/karpman-drama-triangle

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I am also interested in the thread this week about telling lies. And how a partner with BPD could corner you into telling something not true to avoid a distressing situation with them.

Well my life is just full of distressing situations partly because I just can’t be dishonest, and I don’t mean that in a grandiose way, I think it’s generally good but im probably the annoying person who is just too ridiculously by the book.

You should join in that conversation!