My Ex had all the Traits of BPD wish I new this before I dated her

[527East]

I am from Utah.  Currently I live in Washington state.  Reason I live in Washington state is because I got in a wonderful long distance relationship with a girl who has almost all the traits/symptoms of BPD.

Almost a year ago my ex contact me on ldssingles.com  This is a dating website for people who are of the LDS faith or commonly referred to as mormon.  My ex informed she was recently divorced last oct/nov 2018 and was recently baptized a member of my faith.  Well she may have been a convert to my faith but she was anything but "converted".  I fell for her chameleon/mirroring affect big time.  And I new better! UGGHH.  Anyways she told me everything I wanted to hear that she found god in this church, it brought her happiness, wants to raise her kids in the church, marry me, blah blah blah. 

If people are not familiar with this faith when you are baptized you are committing to god that you will refrain from using coffee/tea, tobacco/chew, and premarital sexual acts.   Well yeah she liked her coffee, she loves her disgusting chew habit, we never had sex but were starting to round the bases ;).  So yeah I got "blllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllaptized" but I am really not interested in going to church or refrain from using all those things.   

All this mirroring of her playing the part of the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with almost fooled me.  The relationship ended in Oct 2019.  Basically girl begged to have sex with me and I refused by informing her we are not married yet.  Theres that Bpd hyper sex drive. Anyways I was the white knight at the start of the relationship.  I paid all the utilities, the cable, internet, and she had trouble making her monthly rent payment.  She had many abandonment issues and could not go to work in Aug while I was on an alaskan cruise with my family.  She had the anxiety and terrible finances.  I swear the relationship was like a grown up dealing with a pre teen child.  She had genital herpes that she "claims" never god it from intercourse.  uh huh. 

She pushed the marriage card on me and I almost fell for it.  If I got married to her or had a child.  The next 18 years would have sucked big time.  So sick and tired of her and her lying.  I blame her deadbeat bio father who raped her as a child because who knows how she would have turned out if that didn't happen. 

It took me a solid 4 months to get her to break up with me.  If I broke up with her she would have had a major anxiety panic attack.   Best way to end the relationship was for me to manipulate her into breaking up with me Via extra long hours at work (never home) , declining sexual advances,   and not showing or telling her how much I cared.  Eventually she found a replacement loser to take my spot in the apartment which I am eternally grateful for so I don't have to deal with her crap anymore.  Always needed to contact mommy/daddy for money.  Pretty sad youre 29 and no dating options.

I am so glad I am free from her!

[once removed]

hi 527East, and

it sounds like youve really been through it. there was a lot you didnt see eye to eye on.

how long has it been since the breakup? what happened?

[527East]

Well...at the start of the relationship we saw eye to eye on everything.  Again we talked about religion.  Getting debts paid off.  Don't have sex until marriage.  When married how many kids we each would like.  These were things I wanted but she mirrored them perfectly.  I moved into the apartment with her in May 2019 and her "real" lifestyle started to show.  Refrain from coffee?  Hey there Mr. Coffee maker.   Refrain from Tobacco...Hey there cans of skoal everywhere..(disgusting habit).   Wait til marriage to have sex?  Well she begged for sex before marriage.  Go to church together.  Nope.   Pray together? Nope.  Read the good word from the scriptures together?  Nope.

So the girl I wanted to marry and was paying off an engagement ring for and planning our wedding wasn't even real.  But I had to get her to breakup with me because if I broke up with her she would have had a panic attack or something because of that fear of abandonment .  We've been broke up 2 months now Oct 19, and I moved out of the apartment in Nov 19 because she brought a new F*** toy beta male loser to have adult fun in her room next to mine.  Yeah not happening sister.