He Communicated Well

[Tattered Heart]

IT's so easy to focus on the negative things our pwBPD do that I like to brag a little when he does things well.

This past month has been absolutely crazy for our schedules and stress. We are both exhausted from constant activity outside of the house. I was down for almost 2 weeks from a dental procedure, my H had to take a last minute emergency trip 12 hours away, H's grandpa died, we had to put our 11 year dog to sleep, we have a newer puppy that is misbehaving, we are working on getting our farm up and running for the SPring (plus the stress of losing 3/4 of our flock to predators), his work schedule has been out of the ordinary, and other small commitments. My H is a man of routine. If his routine is thrown off, he gets very irritated.

This week I've noticed that he was tense. He has been kind of snappy and accusatory of things, but nothing major.  I've been worried about an impending blow up.

Last night though, he communicated. He said he felt like we have not had enough time together. I told him I agree and let him know that I"ve missed him. We took a walk around the yard and when we were done I asked him to sit with me on the porch a bit. It's such a big deal for him to communicate what he was feeling. Usually he just blows up and accuses me of not loving him. I hope by me hearing him, validating, and then showing him that it's important that we were just near each other that he saw how communicating can help.

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[wendydarling]

Hi there Tattered Heart

Oh my that's a lot you've both been dealing with and you've done amazingly! It's no wonder you are taking a deep breath, have missed each other, walking and sitting on the step sounds like a fine thing to do make loving space for each other to say what's needed.  Well done to your H, you are right all breakthroughs are worth celebrating.

Bragging is great in my book

WDx

[heartandwhole]

Tattered Heart,

This is wonderful to read. I agree with wendydarling: please do share when things go well. It helps us all remember that there is hope for things to improve.

And how incredible that in the midst of so much going on, you and your H had this tender time together and good communication. Really good news, and thank you for sharing.

I'm sorry to hear of your losses and hope you both will find more time to spend together. It's good to lean on each other during stressful times like these.   

heartandwhole