New here

[millie66]

I'm a mother to a d34, who has never been diagnosed.  I also believe my mother also exhibits many BPD characteristics.  I underwent a year of counseling because both sadness and bitterness were taking a toll on me.  Only through my counselor did I identify my role in this crazy roller coaster as a co-dependent to two people who were very possibly BPD, when I actually thought I was the hub of a wheel, the family member people could turn to for help, yet, afterwards, continue to exhibit the same patterns of behavior, only to return back to me, over and over and over again. (I tire thinking about it).

I would encourage anyone to seek the services of a counseling professional, to learn how to draw boundaries in order to deal with anyone (particularly loved ones) who can very easily cause one to feel like an empty husk.

Although I'm becoming fairly adept at detaching I'm hoping to maintain detachment with love through support from this group.

Thank you.  

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[here2learn2]

Nice to meet you Millie66. I'm new here too.  Looking forward to learning together.  H2L2. 

[Rapt Reader]

Hello, millie66 & 

I'm really sorry that you are having to deal with the BPD symptoms and behaviors of your daughter (and also your Mom!), but your decision to seek counseling was a very wise one. And coming to this site was wise, too 

Detaching is very hard to do, when the sadness and pain is so ongoing... . I have found that learning Radical Acceptance for family members was the first step for me in detaching from the emotions and personalizing of my BPD son's symptoms and behaviors (he's 37 now). Using the TOOLS: For Triggering, Mindfulness, and Wise Mind also helped with that.

There are really very many members on the Parenting A Son or Daughter with BPD Board who will know exactly what you are going through, and who can give you insights and advice from their own experiences. When you are on this Board, please check out every single link to the right-hand side of this page; the information there is so valuable in helping us all out with our relationships with not only our BPD kids, but also our other BPD loved ones. Welcome to this family, millie66... . We want to help you 

[jellibeans]

Dear millie66

Welcome to the parent board... . we are here for you and we understand what you are going through... . so glad you found us... . hang in there

[peaceplease]

millie66,

  I am glad that you were helped with counseling.  I know that helped me when I went a few years, ago.  In fact, I have been thinking that I could benefit from a tune up with some sessions.    I learned how I contributed to situation as well. It was eye opening. 

Thank you for sharing.

peaceplease