Hi takingandse,
Thank you for your reply.
Right now silent treatment is going on and it's going on for months (a first for me). I've tried everything that youcan think of (except being angry, downgrading or begging) including SET and that didn't work. I've showed a couple of times my understanding, caring and explained I can only help her if she tells me what's going on.
I've seen some obsessive behaviour over me, like following what I do and respond to it, yet never directly towards me. She openly makes a lot of 'friends' lately and I feel like I'm being replaced (she does/say things with them she would with me), but I still think like I've read about BPD she does want a relationship with me.
I think she got scared I was going to reject her or leave her, because I wanted a talk with her. I think that got her mind spinning and her imagination running of with her, imagining bad things so I should be 'eliminated'. I actually have once been diagnosed with AvpD (which I think don't follow the criteria for anymore
) and I can relate, because in my case I would sense or I would predict rejection and so a mechanism sets in and start to test/reject the person I am assuming they'll do to me, so I was already mad at them for it while it didn't even already happened! I always felt horrible for that, cause it happened the most when I actually really liked the person and wanted a normal fun relationship with, but I was so scared... .
So I think she is mentally not well, and she is embracing her 'evil' dark part and letting everyone no she is like that, but I think she doesn't want all this, she is a good person by heart and she just want to be loved...
But the thing is, if I say all that to her she still would not speak to me directly Well I'm gonna do it again and this time toroughly. I am now witholding any contact for a couple of weeks now, because I deserve better, she really hurt me and these weeks without worrying about her were great.
I really don't know how far I can go with setting boundaries right now, scince she is ignoring me.