it is the fact she is lying about what the therapist says
i hate the lies it destroys me
How do you know this? Are you in the room with them?
Big picture: If your wife is going to T... .this is good. Let her T do the work... .you "just" be the husband... .not the "fixer".
What happens if your substitute "point of view" for "lie"?
Remember... .you are dealing with a very emotional person... .the way something "feels" is usually more important than the "fact" of the matter.
FF