Well. She contacted me now and of course I replied :(

[Scopikaz]

So I was doing good with the no contact. We are supposed to go to a concert in a month. But I was not going to make contact with her and then by the time it rolls around hopefully back out.  Or if I decide to still go would have almost a month of no contact at that point.

So tonight she sends a text and asks what time the concert starts?  Really?  A month out and she asks when it starts.   Couldn't she wait till closer or google it.  Is she trying to make plans with someone else for that night

Or day too?

So I replied and told her right I think. And asked why.  Did said well she thought we could do dinner first and she could pay for hers. 

Again I'm thinking really? 

Anyhow. Odd.  She never has texted first like that

[Turkish]

It sounds like some equivocation on your part, even if implicitly by the NC and not making it clear beyond a shadow of a doubt that you were not going to the concert. The ball was left in her court, and she served it back. What are you gong to do with it?

I had tickets to a diva my Ex loved. The show got postponed for 8 months. By then, we were no longer together, and we (I) were LC living in the same house. A few days before,.she asked about the concert, expecting that we were still going. She was deep in an outside r/s by that time. Me: 

She didn't see things like I did. Your Ex probably doesn't either. It was up to me to assert a clear boundary. Will you, or do you want to go?

[Scopikaz]

Truthfully I want to and don't want to go. I am hoping not to text her first again. So by the time the concert rolls around it will be easier to say no.  But at the same time I got tickets with intention of taking her so I still want to.

She said this time she doesn't want to stay the night either.  Which part of me if we do go then I do want to spend night with her.  But that really makes me no better than the players at the bars she's likely doing stuff with. 

If I want to take her to concert then I shouldn't expect sex in return.

So at this point I'm trying not to text first. And I'll go from there.

[Rmbrworst]

Stay no contact.  U need to start healing

[Clearmind]

Truthfully I want to and don't want to go. I am hoping not to text her first again. So by the time the concert rolls around it will be easier to say no.  But at the same time I got tickets with intention of taking her so I still want to.

She said this time she doesn't want to stay the night either.  Which part of me if we do go then I do want to spend night with her.  But that really makes me no better than the players at the bars she's likely doing stuff with.  

If I want to take her to concert then I shouldn't expect sex in return.

So at this point I'm trying not to text first. And I'll go from there.

Hedging bets either way is a very confusing mindset to be in. By now you know what to expect from her. You lived it. Part of you wants a shoe you. It's ok. It takes time to detach.

Her texting first is simply putting the feelers out to see if you'd respond. You did. It's likely she will now step back. She got what she needed. A nibble of validation. For you however you maybe expecting way more than she can provide. Differences in expectations is what keeps up hooked. Start to see things through her eyes and not what you need from her. You'll be forever disappointed if you expect her to do what you expect. That's asking her to be something she's not... .healthy minded.

Apart from concentrating on her, what can you do for yourself to assist you to detach? And why is it you want to hedge your bets? What do you think there is to gain?

[Scopikaz]

I guess no contact to me seems so final and if we are at least occasionally doing things it seems like more of a glimmer of hope.

[CloseToFreedom]

Im a year out and even I sometimes make the mistake of replying to her nonsense. Don't be too hard to yourself, you're only human. But try to keep in mind that youll only hurt yourself in the process. Try to break the habit.