New Member

[Compass]

I have a 13 year old daughter with BPD traits.  All seemed very normal, good grades, good friends, everything on track as far as we could see - and then at the end of 5th grade I saw the first cuts on her arm.  And so it began.  Kaiser therapists, eating disorder specialist, psychiatrists.  She hated them all and I don't blame her, they are far too busy to make any real connections and just can't possibly provide the needed support.  One year ago we found a small office that focuses on just these types of kiddos.  All DBT, group, yoga, 24 hour support, really fantastic and amazing.  I truly feel like we won the lotto finding this place.

It hasn't made everything magically all better, but I have seen many improvements. They just offered a Family Connections course for the parents and I can't recommend that enough.  If you can find a Family Connections class in your area you must go.  To share with other parents that have walked the same path was just amazing.

So I'm always trying to learn more and fill my toolbox with any tools that may help me to help her. And that's why I'm here. 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[lbjnltx]

Welcome Compass,

So glad you are here and that you are finding the proper help for your girl and support for  yourself.   Our Tools for your toolbox are based on the Family Connections program so you will feel at home here.  The sharing of stories, insights, skills, resources, and support help make this place great.

lbj

[ilusa26]

Compas,

I am so glad you found a place that could help your daughter.  Is it only for Yong kids or they help older people too?

[livednlearned]

Hi Compass,

It really moved me to hear the positive news -- that you found a supportive program. What a difference it can make to find the right people. I remember BPD experts saying that a caring, committed, invested counselor could have more of an impact than a resentful expertly trained DBT therapist. At the end of the day, empathy and caring matter so much. And you are finding this support too through Family Connections, which is wonderful. One of my favorite sayings of all time is, "I understand."  It can go such a long way to lifting our wings just enough.

Have you been able to read Blaise Aguirre's book on BPD and adolescence? The second edition especially is very good -- I thought the way he described cutting was particularly insightful. We (parents) focus on cutting as the problem, whereas the teens see cutting as the solution. It is a radically different way to approach a problem behavior, to try and find the source of pain and relieve it in more healthy ways.

I'm glad you're here. 

LnL