how to reach dh when he's lost touch with reality?

[Depression = 72% of members]

Even before I suspected BPD, I noticed that my then-fiance occasionally would get into these moods where he'd start ranting or rambling about something.  While we wouldn't let me disengage, it would also seem like he didn't hear anything I'd say--he'd be unreachable.

I had a particularly scary episode the other night.  He's never been violent and wasn't necessarily agitated this time either.  If anything he was more rambling than ranting, but I was scared for my physical safety.  Without going into greater detail, I felt he was going on about how he shouldn't be responsible for his actions.

Does anyone else's partner do this?  Is it time to figure out how to leave him?  Should I call 911?  Are there any techniques for reaching someone who's completely lost in their own head like that?

Somehow also, I can never find a way to tell him later "that was bad."  Either because he's never calm enough to talk or he'll minimize what he did or because he'll blame me.

I just don't see how this can ever get better. 

[OddWalnut]

Even before I suspected BPD, I noticed that my then-fiance occasionally would get into these moods where he'd start ranting or rambling about something.  While we wouldn't let me disengage, it would also seem like he didn't hear anything I'd say--he'd be unreachable.

I had a particularly scary episode the other night.  He's never been violent and wasn't necessarily agitated this time either.  If anything he was more rambling than ranting, but I was scared for my physical safety.  Without going into greater detail, I felt he was going on about how he shouldn't be responsible for his actions.

Does anyone else's partner do this?  Is it time to figure out how to leave him?  Should I call 911?  Are there any techniques for reaching someone who's completely lost in their own head like that?

Somehow also, I can never find a way to tell him later "that was bad."  Either because he's never calm enough to talk or he'll minimize what he did or because he'll blame me.

I just don't see how this can ever get better. 

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Tattered Heart]

I"m sorry to hear that you are going through this Odd. I have experienced this with my husband and sadly I have yet to find the appropriate way to handle it. My H gets "stuck" on subjects and it seems like he is almost manic. I will listen to him talk about a subject, but then it just starts to get more and more bizarre. He begins to get upset if I tell him I don't want to listen anymore or if it seems like I'm not listening.

As for 911, you might be able to get him into a 96 hour hold if you thought he was a threat to himself or others. The police would transport him to the hospital.

What in particular made you feel unsafe? It is extremely important if you find yourself in an unsafe situation that you have a plan ahead of time for how to handle it. We have the "Safety First" link at the bottom right of this page and here is the link to the safety page.

https://bpdfamily.com/discussions/search-info2.htm