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Skills we were never taught
98
A 3 Minute Lesson
on Ending Conflict
Communication Skills-
Don't Be Invalidating
Listen with Empathy -
A Powerful Life Skill
Setting Boundaries
and Setting Limits
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Author Topic: dd has made contact, what are the next steps?  (Read 397 times)
dene

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 20


« on: April 16, 2018, 01:45:54 PM »

-+Hello Friends it's Dene  again,
Is anyone on that can exsplain the tone or something I am getting when she speaks to me , on facebook its different but on the phone it is short and curt kind of . Like direct to the point , she asked if I could take her to her appointment tommorow , I asked if they are providing transportation , she said she didn't have anywhere to send them which breaks my heart in two , but anyway I guess I took to long an she said just forget it an hung up. So I called her back an said I would an what time is /*the app. I don't where I am supposed to meet her yet . so doese anyone know what this curtway of speaking is meaning and how to navigate it. need reply asap
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
Feeling Better
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
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« Reply #1 on: April 16, 2018, 03:12:58 PM »

Hi dene

I don’t think that way of speaking means anything, it is probably just part of BPD. My son used to do it before he went n/c, there was never any emotion in his voice and he was always very matter of fact and polite. It always felt like he was talking to a stranger. It was hurtful but at least it was contact.  
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If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading ~ Lao Tzu
dene

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
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« Reply #2 on: April 16, 2018, 03:38:34 PM »

feeling better what is n/c ? thats good to know I know I am not going to make her better , I really do understand that now, I just want to be as good as support I can,an maybe at some point guide her to therapy. THanks for your help .
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Feeling Better
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Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
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« Reply #3 on: April 16, 2018, 04:32:36 PM »

Hi dene

What I mean by n/c is no contact, I’m not sure if that’s how it’s meant to be written, I’ve just always written it that way.

I hope all goes well when you pick her up x
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If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading ~ Lao Tzu
dene

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
Posts: 20


« Reply #4 on: April 16, 2018, 07:48:34 PM »

thanks feeling better , me too ,gonna try not to smother her in mom's so glad to see you hug.
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wendydarling
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Relationship status: Mother
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« Reply #5 on: April 17, 2018, 03:23:49 AM »

Hi dene

What a relief it must be your DD's been in contact. Perhaps the curt tone maybe she's still upset about what happened, being away from her child and unsettled about the future, how things will be resolved.

Do let us know how it goes.

WDx
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Be kind, always and all ways ~ my BPD daughter
dene

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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Child
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« Reply #6 on: April 17, 2018, 08:51:41 PM »

Wendy ,
I am so thankful God answered my prayer for her to contact, yes you are so right
my girl is so hurt by her dad an sis behavior , I pray it all works out , I love her no matter what . My heart breaks for the hurt she is feeling , I don't understand either one .
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Faith Spring
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« Reply #7 on: April 17, 2018, 08:55:25 PM »

Hi Dene!

Boy do I I know that curt, cold factual tone.  It's like dr Spock from Star Trek.  I guess next steps are for you to keep letting us know how it's going!  Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)

When my kid does the cold tone I just pretend I'm answering a survey.  It's always yes or no answers.  Like "yes" I can pick you up.  And that's it.  Leave it to her to figure out she may need to give you an address.  

It's a new language isn't it?   But it's better than nothing.  Sometimes I feel like a dog happy to get table scraps.  

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