my BPD mothers funeral next week

[Calm Waters]

It was her birthday yesterday she would have been 88. I have read much that she left, no one else in the family is really interested in her 'inner life' but I can now see more clearly how tortured a person she was despite outward appearances.She suffered the most dreadful neglect as a child and was only loved by her older sister by 10 years who gave her some emotional stability. MY BPD NPD father neglected and abused her throughout the 71 year marriage, and I have recently spoken to my cousin who at 71 is now the oldest family apart from my dad at 91; She recalls how my grandmother and grandfather on my mothers side used to fight argue and bicker all the time. I feel like I need tio gather as much evidence and intelligence now whilst people in my family are still alive ( they are falling fast) so that I can piece together the crazy history, some might feel it futile but I describe it like being on a mission to discover what happened as much for my children's sanity as my own.Anyway the funeral will be an interesting experience I have spent 100s of hours preparing slides speeches timing co ordination burial probate sorting the house out where there was an archive going back to when she was a child. I now don't feel angry towards her for my lost childhood, but sad for both of our lost childhoods, mine and hers. I will miss my Mum a lot despite it all

[Clearmind]

All the best Calm for next week 

I sincerely hope you can find peace by gathering this information and begin to heal. Mom is at peace now and you can begin to mourn your own childhood and heal. Take care of you

[GeekyGirl]

I'm very sorry, Calm Waters.   Hopefully you'll find some good information from the rest of your family and find some peace through that knowledge. While your mother's life had to have been very painful, you still have time to grow and make the best of yours. 

I'm wishing you strength, wisdom and peace in the coming weeks and months. 

[P.F.Change]

My condolences go out to you as well, Calm Waters.

I hope you are able to find the answers you are looking for. How are you looking after yourself right now?

Wishing you peace,

PF

[Tolou]

So sorry for your loss.

I hope all that you desire to gain will be found and that the funeral goes well.

Rest he Soul... .

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