There is a really great book out there, by Susan Forward, called "Emotional Blackmail"
I found her description of FOG very accurate and informative. She gives some really great examples and ideas... .
Has anyone else read her book?
I am reading it right now. It is a great book. The tactics described used by the blackmailers remind me more of my mother than my husband, although some of it applies. Having been married twice, neither one of my husband's would have been diagnosed with the newer named PD's, but my first husband was definitely a Narcissist and my stbX is a textbook Passive Aggressive that is very verbally abusive. A couple of years ago I had an internet fantasy with a BPD.
The person I seem to be having the most problem with though is my mother. I seem to marry the wrong men and she may just be the reason. Anyway, this book is helping me a lot to see though what she has been doing. I have been putting my life on hold for years to appease her, try to please her, be compliant, or just not talk back. What I have found about the traits that I don't like about the men I get involved with seem to add up to a composite of my mother... .except for the Borderline internet guy. He just seemed like a badboy boyfriend to run away with. The one thing he did have in common with my mother is his Down Home Southern Charm. Underneath that, he was more like a rattle snake... .and it turns out my mother isn't all that frail as she seemed to be either. When I started being more assertive with her she tried harder to control me. However, I am finding that as I continue to hold my ground she gets past a little of her agenda and is maybe just beginning to start to treat me as an equal adult. We will see.
I highly recommend this book.
Cindy
Poll
