At whits end

[Depression = 72% of members]

I have been married to my husband who I believe has BPD, amongst other possible diagnosis for 3.5 years. The last 7 months have been the worst. He is constantly on an emotional roller coaster of course bringing me down with him. I finally got him to see a psychiatrist who put him on a mood stabilizer which seemed to help for about a week. He has an appointment with psychologist next month bit I am not sure he is going to make it. He sent me a message while I was at work last night and stated he was suicidal. He wont reach out to his drs because he feels that they are no help which leaves me to bear the brunt of his mood swings. He had a traumatic event back in May involving his son, his sons mother stepfather and grandfather. This event caused him to cut his entire family off. But then he cries daily about how much he needs to hear from his son but he  wont actually talk to him. Oh add the mixture he is less than a year away from his masters in clinical counseling so he thinks he knows it all about this disorder. I am at my whits end, I don't know how much longer I can hang on to this ledge before I fall off. He most likely needs impatient therapy but has said on many occasions he will kill himself if I try to have him admitted. Since I am his only person it is affecting my psychological wellbeing. I don't want to lose him but at what point do you say enough and call his bluff.

[Struggling Wife]

I have been married to my husband who I believe has BPD, amongst other possible diagnosis for 3.5 years. The last 7 months have been the worst. He is constantly on an emotional roller coaster of course bringing me down with him. I finally got him to see a psychiatrist who put him on a mood stabilizer which seemed to help for about a week. He has an appointment with psychologist next month bit I am not sure he is going to make it. He sent me a message while I was at work last night and stated he was suicidal. He wont reach out to his drs because he feels that they are no help which leaves me to bear the brunt of his mood swings. He had a traumatic event back in May involving his son, his sons mother stepfather and grandfather. This event caused him to cut his entire family off. But then he cries daily about how much he needs to hear from his son but he  wont actually talk to him. Oh add the mixture he is less than a year away from his masters in clinical counseling so he thinks he knows it all about this disorder. I am at my whits end, I don't know how much longer I can hang on to this ledge before I fall off. He most likely needs impatient therapy but has said on many occasions he will kill himself if I try to have him admitted. Since I am his only person it is affecting my psychological wellbeing. I don't want to lose him but at what point do you say enough and call his bluff.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Ozzie101]

Welcome to the family, Struggling Wife!

I'm glad you've found us here, though I'm sorry you need us -- if that makes sense. This is a supportive community and you'll find that we can understand what you're going through.

BPD can be a bewildering disorder. And, yes, being the lone emotional/psychological caretaker is an exhausting and unsustainable position. How is your self-care? Do you have family and friends (a support system) that you can reach out to and spend time with, whether they know what's going on or not? What about hobbies? Things you enjoy doing? When we're in a situation like yours, "refilling our cup" is of vital importance.

Also, we have a lot of tools and experience we can share with you that may start to make your situation easier to manage. It's not easy and it takes work and patience, but we've had some pretty dire situations turn around.

I hope as you feel up to it, you'll share more. The more we know, the better we're able to help. If you don't mind, I have a couple of questions.
How do you respond when he makes these threats of suicide?
Does he have a history of cutting people off?

Keep posting!