BPD sibling in bad car crash. How should I feel?

[Depression = 72% of members]

Last week BPD sis was in a very bad accident.  My dad contacted me, it is serious.  I feel terrible this happened.  I don't want anything to happen to her.  My dad begged me to reach out to her family.  My dad is older so I did.  I sent my sister a beautiful bouquet of flowers with a nice card.  I texted her daughter.  I got no acknowledgement at all.  This does not surprise me.  The accident doesn't change what she has done to me and my family.  I am so conflicted.  On one hand i feel awful for her accident.  On the other she has said and done horrible things to me my whole life.  My therapist validated my feelings.  Just wondering if any others have been through this?  Thanks.

[Pina colada]

Last week BPD sis was in a very bad accident.  My dad contacted me, it is serious.  I feel terrible this happened.  I don't want anything to happen to her.  My dad begged me to reach out to her family.  My dad is older so I did.  I sent my sister a beautiful bouquet of flowers with a nice card.  I texted her daughter.  I got no acknowledgement at all.  This does not surprise me.  The accident doesn't change what she has done to me and my family.  I am so conflicted.  On one hand i feel awful for her accident.  On the other she has said and done horrible things to me my whole life.  My therapist validated my feelings.  Just wondering if any others have been through this?  Thanks.

[Kwamina]

Hi Pina colada

That's horrible news. I am very sorry this has happened to your sister. I know the two of you don't get along too well, yet she's still your sister and I realize how hard this must be for you.

The two of you were NC which complicates matters now. You reached out to her in this difficult time and no matter if or how she and her family respond, you've at least tried to show you care. For now this might be all you can do.

I understand why you feel conflicted. You don't want to see her hurt like this, but at the same time the accident doesn't change anything that has happened before. It however might change how the two of you and the rest of the family move forward from now. Time will tell.

I hope your sister pulls through. Take care and be gentle for yourself as you go through this difficult time. We are here for you for support as you deal with this

[Pina colada]

Kwamina, thank you.  You summed up the situation perfectly.  I wasn't expecting anything other than perhaps a text acknowledgement regarding the flowers and card.  Even no response to that doesn't surprise me. 

The hardest part is my dad.  He has never really validated all the things she has done and said about me and the family.  He does react though when things are done and said directly about him.  He feels that family is family no matter what... .at least that is how I read his words.  I let him know I reached out and that is all I can do.

Thank you for wishing her well.  I hope she recovers fully.  The accident doesn't change what she has done to me and the family which brings on this range of feelings and guilt.