Here's a bit of powerful psychology for you, when the BPD runs away, blocks us, banishes us from their Kingdom, they are trying to make you feel invisible just like how they felt when they were abused as children, they want us to feel their pain as punishment for our actions.
It's not about us at all.
When a pwBPD runs away, they are doing so to avoid their own pain and potential emotional death. They're not trying to punish us, or make us feel like they did as children. It has
nothing to do with us.
I absolutely agree. It's not about us at all. It's the disorder.
If it wasn't about us and about them entirely, you wouldnt see over half the members on this forum trying to analyse beyond normal human behaviour. For example, if it wasn't about us, then why would they smear campaign us? Tell everyone how bad we were. If it was solely about them they would run away into the darkness with complete indifference, but instead, the BPD lashed out at us, plays the role of the victim and makes it known that we are the evil ones, that we were the ones that hurt them. So as far as being the selfish little child that never grew up is concerned, your right, it's not about us, but if that were the case then whydo they make it known through emotional and sometimes physical behaviour that we have wronged them long after the relationship had ended.
The specific behavior being discussed in that particular instance was the running away. Which has everything to do with the pwBPD's core fears.
Why do they harbor resentments, smear us, etc.? Because we have become the dumping grounds for their negative feelings. They felt bad when they were with us, so in their minds we must have done something to make them feel bad. They can't handle these painful feelings without finding someone to "blame." This is not done consciously; it's a survival mechanism. We become the bucket into which they pour these negative emotions.
They say that we have wronged them because they
believe that we have wronged/failed them. That is their reality. They felt bad... .we must have caused it... .case closed.
That doesn't mean that the behavior is meant to punish us. If anything, it's more to soothe the pwBPD's pain and fears than anything to do with us.