The good, the not so good, and the very bad

[sarchasm23]

A little over a year ago I met my now boyfriend. Shy, but sweet, our relationship has progressed to living together. Many times with him have been endearing, fun, and amazing. But the bad? It’s bad. I didn’t understand why I have been, at times, a target for him. Threats to break up, suspicion, jealousy, mostly over petty things. If I’m home 5 minutes late I’m clearly up to something. And other days? Not a big deal at all. He’s as nice as pie. It made no sense. But as time has gone on, I see what it is. He has been in therapy for other trauma but has never had a formal BPD diagnosis. As time has gone on I’ve been learning more effective communication strategies and boundary-setting, but it’s still a challenge. I’m looking to hear from others in the same situation. I do love him, but it’s a real challenge sometimes.

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Cat Familiar]

What are some of the patterns that are most challenging for you?

[pursuingJoy]

sarchasm23, welcome  Like Cat, I'd love to know more about the most challenging patterns. It helps sometimes to hear a specific example of something that went well or didn't go well and talk through it.

How did you learn about BPD? Love that you're learning new ways of communicating and boundary setting - those are critical tools to shift the dynamic.