Emotional turmoil can be a negative feedback loop keeping one stuck because it causes many to focus excessively on their own feelings and issues.
It is a paradox. You have to be aware of your own feelings but not obsessed. Maybe sweet spot is better than paradox then.
Take social anxiety as a mild case. Everyone I know with it (and when I had it) were obsessed with themselves when in public or obsessed with how others were perceiving/treating them.
Now, take something like BPD, it will naturally cause this but even much more.
This is just the layer of pain causing "wound licking/wound staring behavior".
Now, add in the particulars of what helps cause BPD and what BPD is as far as symptoms, and it is a perfect storm for self centeredness/self obsession.
To combat this, my ex claimed to be an empath and to always see other people's side of things. What that translated into in real life was her emotionally reacting to the often falsely perceived emotional states of others and rationalizing the bad behavior of other people when she was not directly harmed by that behavior. Not once did she correctly know my emotional state, ask, or predict how her actions would likely make me feel. Nor did she ever take something I said that could be seen as negative towards her behavior without first becoming massively defensive, and none of her subsequent apologies were genuine and taking responsibility and most stuck a knife back into me somehow. Empath my blue baboon butt.
If I would have been given a nickel every time my BPDexgf asked me if I was mad or irritated, Bill Gates would be my butler. I could be falling out of a chair because of laughter and asked if I was mad. I was asked that question so many times that it became maddening. I have never met anyone in my life that continually misinterpreted my emotional state.
And the tone in my voice. ANY inflection was automatically assumed to be anger. We could be standing in a crowd of friends and I could say something that was obviously sarcastically said, everyone would laugh but her. When around her, I had to be extremely careful of what I said and how I said it. This woman wanted open communication between us... .then gave me a rule book of her regulations regarding what was permissible during communication.
How did we all not go mad with these people?
