not new... just back...

[Depression = 72% of members]

I'm not new to the board, as I've been off for a few years, just returning as I need the extra support right now.  I've been NC with my UBPDsis and dad,  LC with my UBPD bro for about 4 years... .   With health issues stemming from cancer in my mom and my good brother, I've had to have contact with my sis and bro and it has been very trying.  Seeing them and having dealings with them brings up all the memories of the hurtful things they have done for years regarding me and my family even while on NC and LC.  I have to be reminded by you all that I cannot afford to be sucked into the drama.  I have had such a nice 4 years of feeling free and no guilt... .    I wish I could ignore all of them, but I am my mom's caregiver (breast cancer) and so that means that she is at my house... .   so I feel as if I HAVE to answer the phone when they call, and that I have to let them in to see her or I am not being the bigger person... .   Is there any way around this?  She can't stay anywhere else, and she can't (and desperately doesn't want to) obviously, stay with them... .   and my good brother just beat colon rectal cancer and he is dealing with his colostomy stuff... .    What to do?  I feel like I have no options other than to subject myself to it... .   and just try to not let it bother me... .    but trust me... .   it bothers the SH*T out of me... .  

[debbiejoe]

I'm not new to the board, as I've been off for a few years, just returning as I need the extra support right now.  I've been NC with my UBPDsis and dad,  LC with my UBPD bro for about 4 years... .   With health issues stemming from cancer in my mom and my good brother, I've had to have contact with my sis and bro and it has been very trying.  Seeing them and having dealings with them brings up all the memories of the hurtful things they have done for years regarding me and my family even while on NC and LC.  I have to be reminded by you all that I cannot afford to be sucked into the drama.  I have had such a nice 4 years of feeling free and no guilt... .    I wish I could ignore all of them, but I am my mom's caregiver (breast cancer) and so that means that she is at my house... .   so I feel as if I HAVE to answer the phone when they call, and that I have to let them in to see her or I am not being the bigger person... .   Is there any way around this?  She can't stay anywhere else, and she can't (and desperately doesn't want to) obviously, stay with them... .   and my good brother just beat colon rectal cancer and he is dealing with his colostomy stuff... .    What to do?  I feel like I have no options other than to subject myself to it... .   and just try to not let it bother me... .    but trust me... .   it bothers the SH*T out of me... .  

[catnap]

    debbiejoe

Welcome back to bpdfamily.com.  I am sorry that you are in a situation that brought you back, but we are here to help support you.    

I am sure that you are familiar with the [L5]  Coping and Healing from a BPD Parent, Sibling, or Inlaw Board and the members there will be helpful in providing their insight into your situation. 

catnap

[debbiejoe]

Catnap, I can read on that board, but not post... .  would you have any idea why?