Actually Enjoying Being "Painted Black" For Once - Is That Weird?

[AnnaofArendelle]

So my diagnosed BPD bff/sisterbyheart has completely cut all ties with me and I have been stuck in a weird triangulation with her husband. Last I heard, he had figured out a few more "actual" reasons why she was mad and we were going to get together on it. I guess we both got busy? Because we never did.

Anyway, the longer we go without talking this time around, the better I feel. I know we'll have to face it eventually - but right now I am dealing with a whole bunch of other stuff (including the fact that my brother just came out to us as a narcotics addict) and it just doesn't seem that important.

In fact, not having her in my life at the moment is kind of... .errr... .refreshing? Is that weird? I'm just so used to being codependent on her for support, and now that I don't have it - I kind of don't miss it, at least this time around.

It still bothers me a bit that she completely has the wrong picture about me and that I don't know anything about how her treatment is going, etc. - but apparently not enough to even distract me unless I make an effort to think about it.

Has anyone else experienced a time where they actually liked being painted black?

[Deb]

Yes, being painted black made my life more peaceful and drama free. Plus, no eggshell walking. The last time, I just kept to NC and made no effort to reconcile. If you choose to reconcile, use the lessons on this site to learn boundaries, SET, BIFF etc.

[ViaCrusis1689]

I don't think it is weird at all. I have not been through this with my BPD family member, but at times a friend, who has some issues, would do this to me and I did not really miss being in contact with her. It wasn't that I did not miss her, though perhaps I didn't miss her, but it was a relief to get away from the drama she sometimes inflicted on me.

I don't think any feelings in regards to BPD or other personality issues are weird. They just "are." I admit it is hard for me to see that truth and I often feel guilty for feelings I have toward my uBPDm, so I have to work through not feeling guilty.

[gloveman]

My parents painted me black all the time. Most of the time I enjoyed it because everyone new that I was a nice guy and my parents are the ones who were nasty and abusive.