That is helpful. The rationale behind it all makes sense. Emotional intelligence is something I teach as part of my professional role. Self Regulation is the hardest to master for most people. I generally feel I do well with it, but certainly in my relationship with my husband it is much harder, the inaccurate statements are so deeply hurtful it is so much harder to stay regulated. It also feels like validating him and those feelings is admitting to an untruth. He feels a certain way, which is a real feeling to him, but it is completely untrue. He feels I don't care about him because I didn't offer him a drink when I got up to get one and then he gets upset. How do I validate that feeling, when it's untrue? I may say, I am sorry you feel that way, I assure you I do care about you and I never for a second had ill intent by not getting you a drink too. He doesn't believe me and so it goes on. I hate to even say this, it sounds so selfish, but it is frustrating that I have to be so accommodating and work so hard and he gets to just be who he is. Does that make sense? Thank you for the video. It was helpful and I saw a few more suggested while watching that I will check out as well.