The talk at the restaraunt- Pt 2

[formflier]

I would be tempted to disappear that darn tv.  

I've considered this, but it seems like a "tactic" she would use.  I'm an upfront kinda guy, I'll tell you what I think of you to your face and then do something about it if needed.  Not much into hiding.

Listen: If my wife "normalizes" and we press on up here, I'm good.  If this happens once a year, I'm still good and can deal with it.

Maybe it was KatCat that suggested I look at things like this as Turrets, they do weird things, it's not about you and you let it go.  For most things that works great.

Take it as a given, that I am tied to a location to sleep.  Altering that is not an option.  No it doesn't kill me to go away for a night or two, but it compromises me much worse than the average person

FF



This thread was split from: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=289068.0;all

[HurtinNW]

I'm also curious about your wife's insistence on noise. Do you think this is a control issue, or perhaps a symptom of her disregulation? I know when I get disregulated I become very keyed up and cannot sleep. I am wondering if this is a symptom of her disregulation ("I can't sleep so no one else can!" and thus she gets all the kids to play along. If so it may be very difficult for her to control this. She may even intend well but then anxiety hits and bam, she's off to the races.

I also agree with notwendy that at a certain time us ladies have huge hormonal shifts. I think this makes any prexisting conditions harder. My PTSD really spiked when I went into menopause. The difficulty sleeping made all my PTSD symptoms worse. It doesn't excuse her behavior but might explain some of it. She can't sleep so everyone has to stay up to "entertain" her. Instead of understanding the physical causes of the insomnia she blames you and takes it out on everyone around her.

This may be a silly or naive question, but does your wife exercise? Can you help her do that? I have found daily vigorous exercise to be the most effective tool in my kit for my PTSD disregulations and ability to sleep. PTSD is not the same as BPD but a lot of my symptoms are similar... .especially when triggered by my BPD boyfriend.