I am back- need to vent

[Eureka1]

I am back on this board.  I was Eureka but forgot that password and changed email so now I am Eureka1.

My sister with BPD traits (not officially diagnosed) continues to be a two faced person. She presents herself as religious and caring but she seems to thrive on trying to undermine me or insert herself into things. 
Tired of the drama but we still need to go through family things after the death of my Mom. 


Also, do other victims of being gaslighted or made to feel insignificant have an issue with people seeming to ignore your questions?  I am part of a board and I emailed someone with a question about money they gave me to deposit.  The amount was short by $1 versus the amount they recorded in their spreadsheet.  I emailed them and did not get a response.  We have a meeting tomorrow and I am going to ask again.  While the amount is insignificant, as treasurer it is my duty. 
Do victims of BPD abuse have a stamp on their forehead that says ignore me, abuse me, etc?

Just frustrated. 


I feel like everything is going down the tubes. 

[Harri]

Hi Eureka and welcome back.  First, my condolences on the passing of your mother.  My mother died and while my relationship with her was not good, it was still difficult.  How are you doing?

I am sorry to hear about your sister still causing you difficulties.  Can you describe some of the things your sister is doing?  We might be able to help you figure out ways to protect yourself.

I think it is possible that your history with being lied to and having your truth denied or existence ignored is a sensitive area (of course it is!) and so when others do it, or seem to do it, it can trigger old responses.  I think your right that you have the responsibility to find the money no matter how small the amount and I think bringing it up in the meeting is the right thing to do.  Let us know how it goes.

I am glad you reached out here.

[HappyChappy]

an issue with people seeming to ignore your questions?... .
 ... .Do victims of BPD abuse have a stamp on their forehead that says ignore me, abuse me, etc?

Yes to your first question, because often its a sign someone is trying to hide something, ask again, just in case its another reason.

Yes to your question "Do victims of BPD abuse... ." a con man uses NPD type behaviour and will chose their prey carefully. They can pick up if we are susceptible to their NPD behaviour, because we were groomed to be susceptible. That's why domestic abuse victims often go from one abuser to another.

[JNChell]

Hello, Eureka1. I’m sorry about your mom’s passing. Both of my parents passed in 2010. It was quite an ordeal as I’m sure you’ve been experiencing.

Also, do other victims of being gaslighted or made to feel insignificant have an issue with people seeming to ignore your questions?

Sometimes. Yes. Especially if it has been a pattern. It can become very invalidating. I agree with Harri that you should track that dollar down. I also think that if the invalidation that we’re talking about goes on long enough that it can slowly trickle into other aspects of our life.

Do victims of BPD abuse have a stamp on their forehead that says ignore me, abuse me, etc?

Borderlines and narcissists are very keen on what is easy and what isn’t. I don’t really subscribe to the analogy, but they’re often described as emotional predators. Again, it’s not terminology that I agree with, but it’s instinctual. It’s what they were taught by observing as children. It’s what they know. They have core wounds and are able to pick up on ours. I read a quote by a seniors member here some time back. “We attract what we project”. It took a while for that to make sense to me. A lot of information here took a while to make sense to me. I’m glad I stuck around. I still have quite a ways to go, but I’m surrounded by a community that believes me and understands.