Forgive yourself for putting some blinders on Fly for a period of time while you grieve your wife’s death! You didn’t do anything wrong. You maybe felt like you needed to hide your grief in another relationship.
OK it didn’t work out with your ex – so be it – you have a loving memory of your wife that will never escape you.
I have never experienced a more intimate experience with my wife... . EVER.
Not everyone can say this in a lifetime - you experienced it for a few decades. How wonderful Fly.
Be kind to you