Hi,
Im linking my other post here as background to this latest episode.
https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=339116.msg13073026#msg13073026https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=339163.msg13074041#msg13074041So since he dysregulated on the 7th August and left for work on the 8th, I have had minimal contact with him. Any messages are send about us are replied to with a "don't talk about us or I will block you".
I haven't seen him since then, until Saturday. He sent me one message saying what are you doing. I didn't reply and about 5 mins later the doorbell went and he was here. As he walked towards the living room, I said that a friend was here and he turned on his heels and left. When I asked him why did he come he said to see our dog which I've done so I'm leaving.
I think he had been drinking, it was late.
Last year when he was like this, he got caught by the police for drink driving and lost his license for 6 months, recieved a fine and is on probation for 2 years despite it being a first offence. If he gets caught again he will face prison time.
he then messaged me which resulted in me being blocked. He said have a nice time with the friend. He has a new girlfriend (usually says after hes left) I can check with some friend that I dont know, we are just friends, said again about girlfriend and ask his friend its true. again repeated we are just friends. he will block me now, which he then did on whatsapp
Sunday night he messaged me to say sorry for disturbing you. wanted to know why the friend was staying. asked me if i had contacted his friend. asking if i think we will be together again, saying he had a new girlfriend. he then called me in the middle of the night and wanted to know what I was doing, said I was asleep. asked if i was alone, asked if i had been with anyone, here or in england, said he didnt believe me . hung up called back asked again. asked if my friend was still here. he said thats a shame i thought we could just be friends with benefits.. whatever night.
then messaged that we are friends and best friends. and again talked about friends with benefits. wanted to come but friend was here.
monday night was the same. he turned up said he wanted friends with benefits. we are better like that. He was calling me all the pet names, but if i showed him any affection he became closed off and offended. Was annoyed that friend was in bedroom. went to the terrace and drank and then wanted to leave. I said you cant drive youve been drinking. put him to bed on sofa. he asked again if i had contacted his friend.
in the morning there was shock on his face when he saw he was here. and then he tried again for friend with benefits. i saw he had a bad gash on his arm, asked what happened. he became angry we're not in a relationship.
I said you said we are friends. if i saw another friend with a wound i would be worried and put cream on it, by chance it was on the table. He was annoyed wanted to leave. then he got a phone call from a cargo company. before the fight i had ordered him a necklace as he had lost the one that day that i had bought him years ago. he said he felt naked and lost without it. As i would be out of the country and he would be working i put his work address as the delivery address. he asked what it was so i said. He got angry. jumped up showered and left. said again that he wants sex with me and maybe he can come once a week for it. but no relationship.
today he has opened the gift. he messaged me thanks and said he wants to know the price. he will send me the money or he wont wear it.
i said i cant remember i need to check my emails.
he has just messaged again saying hey you didnt tell me the price.
should i?
some key things
1.this friend he is talking about is not a friend. he began working with him in june and he is foreign. looks like a sleaze and player. i have never met him
2.from posts he has put on social media, his new house, people have contacted me asking where we have moved to and to say congrats for the move. I then have to tell them its him not me who has moved. his best friends dont know and havent spoke to him since he dysregualted...same as last year
3. last year he seemed to ditch his friends and hang out with a new one from his new job...last year it was a 16 year old kid (hes 35) this year it is a guy from the Zambia both were new in town.
4. the way he is holding himself and talking is not like him, eg he claimed to come for the dog, but barely looked at her. i had to remind him to but even then he wasnt bothered.
5.if i get too close he gets angry and inflamed and pulls away
6. when he was stable all year he was angry at himself about the drink driving and couldnt believe he had done it. swore he would never ever do it again. yet know he is doing it and i dont know whether to say anything to him about this
