Diagnosis + Treatment
The Big Picture
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? [ Video ]
Five Dimensions of Human Personality
Think It's BPD but How Can I Know?
DSM Criteria for Personality Disorders
Treatment of BPD [ Video ]
Getting a Loved One Into Therapy
Top 50 Questions Members Ask
Home page
Forum
List of discussion groups
Making a first post
Find last post
Discussion group guidelines
Tips
Romantic relationship in or near breakup
Child (adult or adolescent) with BPD
Sibling or Parent with BPD
Boyfriend/Girlfriend with BPD
Partner or Spouse with BPD
Surviving a Failed Romantic Relationship
Tools
Wisemind
Ending conflict (3 minute lesson)
Listen with Empathy
Don't Be Invalidating
Setting boundaries
On-line CBT
Book reviews
Member workshops
About
Mission and Purpose
Website Policies
Membership Eligibility
Please Donate
May 05, 2024, 08:35:46 PM
Welcome,
Guest
. Please
login
or
register
.
1 Hour
5 Hours
1 Day
1 Week
Forever
Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins:
Kells76
,
Once Removed
,
Turkish
Senior Ambassadors:
Cat Familiar
,
EyesUp
,
SinisterComplex
Help!
Boards
Please Donate
Login to Post
New?--Click here to register
Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.
Practicing lawyer, Senior Family Mediator, and former Licensed Clinical Social Worker with twelve years’ experience and an expert on navigating the Family Court process.
222
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
I can't move on
Pages: [
1
]
Go Down
« previous
next »
Print
Author
Topic: I can't move on (Read 512 times)
statsattack
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 168
I can't move on
«
on:
February 19, 2017, 01:26:46 AM »
After all the stuff my x did and the no contact order I can't move on
Logged
Tottie
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 23
Re: I can't move on
«
Reply #1 on:
February 19, 2017, 03:08:22 AM »
Be strong, darkness wil always follow up by light. I have the same problem and I advise to stay no contact, and love yourself. Search for help by friends.
You will get through!
Logged
blueblue12
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 206
Re: I can't move on
«
Reply #2 on:
February 19, 2017, 06:11:39 AM »
I feel the same way today, NC is tough, but I have no choice as there is nothing there for me. Impossible as my ex ruined everything we had developed over the years, she wanted to separate and made us move on and sell the house, any desire to try and work on the relationship is gone... .but still hurts
Logged
statsattack
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 168
Re: I can't move on
«
Reply #3 on:
February 19, 2017, 09:21:06 AM »
Obviously I'd stay no contact my biggest question mark is what happens after the order is up
Logged
statsattack
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 168
Re: I can't move on
«
Reply #4 on:
February 19, 2017, 09:53:35 PM »
Me n x have been broken up for a year n still haven't forgot about her
Logged
infjEpic
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: In a new relationship
Posts: 245
Re: I can't move on
«
Reply #5 on:
February 20, 2017, 08:22:51 AM »
Quote from: statsattack on February 19, 2017, 09:53:35 PM
Me n x have been broken up for a year n still haven't forgot about her
I'm in the same struggle at the moment.
What is stopping you from moving on?
Logged
FSTL
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 191
Re: I can't move on
«
Reply #6 on:
February 20, 2017, 08:54:50 AM »
Wow - a lot of tough stories. I believe our pain is finite and it will eventually go. This is a great place to start moving on - if you really want to move on. I only find myself sliding back when I think I might let her back in... .then I feel terrible. But it doesn't last as I know deep down I don't want her back.
I am also incredibly grateful I now have the gift of knowledge and introspection - I have dodged bullets with potentially toxic girls in the dating pool and I am also getting to grips with my own issues and trying to deal with them (so doing things I control, like not dating crazies and fixing myself, not someone else). Some days I feel great... .others not so much. But the great days eventually replace the bad days.
Logged
marti644
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 313
Re: I can't move on
«
Reply #7 on:
February 20, 2017, 08:58:53 AM »
FSTL I am having the same experience. The red flags are so much more clear to me now. Especially the look in people's eyes. If they look to dreamily at me when I first meet them I am immediately suspicious and make distance.
Logged
statsattack
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 168
Re: I can't move on
«
Reply #8 on:
February 20, 2017, 08:37:30 PM »
Just found out I have OCD and she was able to calm my anxiety and that meant a lot to me. And I just can't
Logged
earlyL
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Gay, lesb
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 176
Formerly known as "Louise Wilson"
Re: I can't move on
«
Reply #9 on:
February 21, 2017, 04:57:12 AM »
Quote from: marti644 on February 20, 2017, 08:58:53 AM
If they look to dreamily at me when I first meet them I am immediately suspicious and make distance.
The dreamy eyes where definitely the biggest red flag, I remember walking away once thinking, wow this is too intense for me, something isn't right. I saw someone else do it to their partner on the tube the other day as well, I wanted to grab their partner and say RUN! Of course I of no idea of their situation but it did let me witness it from the outside.
Statsattack - it sounds like you are going through so much right now, it really does get better. I am sorry to hear re your anxiety, I definitely experienced panic attacks during the last bit of my relationship that i have never ever experienced before. You mentioned something about the order? When is that up? Is it something in the near future, it is understandable that you would be apprehensive about that time.
Logged
SoMadSoSad
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 375
Re: I can't move on
«
Reply #10 on:
February 21, 2017, 08:59:08 AM »
Quote from: statsattack on February 20, 2017, 08:37:30 PM
Just found out I have OCD and she was able to calm my anxiety and that meant a lot to me. And I just can't
Isnt infatuation normal in the beginning of a relationship?
Logged
statsattack
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 168
Re: I can't move on
«
Reply #11 on:
February 21, 2017, 08:11:30 PM »
Quote from: SoMadSoSad on February 21, 2017, 08:59:08 AM
Isnt infatuation normal in the beginning of a relationship?
After and during the push away
Logged
statsattack
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 168
Re: I can't move on
«
Reply #12 on:
February 21, 2017, 08:12:18 PM »
Quote from: earlyL on February 21, 2017, 04:57:12 AM
The dreamy eyes where definitely the biggest red flag, I remember walking away once thinking, wow this is too intense for me, something isn't right. I saw someone else do it to their partner on the tube the other day as well, I wanted to grab their partner and say RUN! Of course I of no idea of their situation but it did let me witness it from the outside.
Statsattack - it sounds like you are going through so much right now, it really does get better. I am sorry to hear re your anxiety, I definitely experienced panic attacks during the last bit of my relationship that i have never ever experienced before. You mentioned something about the order? When is that up? Is it something in the near future, it is understandable that you would be apprehensive about that time.
October 20th 2018 is when it ends.
Logged
lovenature
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 731
Re: I can't move on
«
Reply #13 on:
February 24, 2017, 09:44:09 PM »
Excerpt
Obviously I'd stay no contact my biggest question mark is what happens after the order is up
Just continue staying no contact. You can't control what your ex. does, only what you do.
Logged
statsattack
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 168
Re: I can't move on
«
Reply #14 on:
February 24, 2017, 09:50:42 PM »
Quote from: lovenature on February 24, 2017, 09:44:09 PM
Just continue staying no contact. You can't control what your ex. does, only what you do.
I was debating her after no contact. Sueing for slander will help me move on
Logged
steelwork
Offline
Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1259
Re: I can't move on
«
Reply #15 on:
February 26, 2017, 03:46:22 PM »
Quote from: statsattack on February 24, 2017, 09:50:42 PM
I was debating her after no contact. Sueing for slander will help me move on
How will that help you move on? It sounds more likely to keep you engaged.
Logged
roberto516
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 782
Re: I can't move on
«
Reply #16 on:
February 26, 2017, 03:56:08 PM »
Chin up. After two months of doubt and depression I have decided I deserve better. I think I'll have bad days, but I'm not gonna discredit that for the past 2 hours I have felt pretty good. Just remember that you deserve better. These people aren't doing what we are doing. We are admitting we have fears and faults and are seeking out support and understanding. How strong does that make you? How many people really look for support and understanding about their problems. We aren't numbing it like the borderline does.
If you need support you got it here man. Because when I have a bad day I'm gonna need you guys. And that's what separates us from someone with borderline. We actually care. So let's use it. We are all looking for support and appreciation for our kindness and willingness to give. So let's give to each other what we gave to others who used us up.
Logged
“Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart. The really great men must, I think, have great sadness on earth.”
statsattack
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 168
Re: I can't move on
«
Reply #17 on:
February 26, 2017, 08:50:10 PM »
Quote from: roberto516 on February 26, 2017, 03:56:08 PM
Chin up. After two months of doubt and depression I have decided I deserve better. I think I'll have bad days, but I'm not gonna discredit that for the past 2 hours I have felt pretty good. Just remember that you deserve better. These people aren't doing what we are doing. We are admitting we have fears and faults and are seeking out support and understanding. How strong does that make you? How many people really look for support and understanding about their problems. We aren't numbing it like the borderline does.
If you need support you got it here man. Because when I have a bad day I'm gonna need you guys. And that's what separates us from someone with borderline. We actually care. So let's use it. We are all looking for support and appreciation for our kindness and willingness to give. So let's give to each other what we gave to others who used us up.
Thank you so much this post helped a ton
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?
Pages: [
1
]
Go Up
Print
BPDFamily.com
>
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
>
Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
I can't move on
« previous
next »
Jump to:
Please select a destination:
-----------------------------
Help Desk
-----------------------------
===> Open board
-----------------------------
Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
-----------------------------
=> Romantic Relationship | Bettering a Relationship or Reversing a Breakup
=> Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting
=> Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
-----------------------------
Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD
-----------------------------
=> Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD
=> Parent, Sibling, or In-law Suffering from BPD
-----------------------------
Community Built Knowledge Base
-----------------------------
=> Library: Psychology questions and answers
=> Library: Tools and skills workshops
=> Library: Book Club, previews and discussions
=> Library: Video, audio, and pdfs
=> Library: Content to critique for possible feature articles
=> Library: BPDFamily research surveys
Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife
Loading...