Hugs to you and prayers for your surgery today.
You are not alone in this one. My uBPDw got mad at me the night before my surgery all because I didn't want to get up early to put the trashcans out and asked if she could do it. I wanted to sleep in a bit because my surgery wasn't until the afternoon.
As they were wheeling me in she was still mad at me! Nice huh? I know that kind of pain. Of all the times it would be nice to count on them, but no! It doesn't matter. What does matter is their anger, which takes precedence over everyone and everything.
Oooh I am mad just recounting the story again!
Stay strong and understand it for what it is... .the disorder... .them. Not you.