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BPDFamily.com
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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+)
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Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship
> Topic:
Sponsor is pushing me to accept my obsession
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Topic: Sponsor is pushing me to accept my obsession (Read 361 times)
JerryRG
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What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1832
Sponsor is pushing me to accept my obsession
«
on:
April 18, 2016, 09:39:39 PM »
Spoke to my AA sponsor tonight, he's trying to break through my denial as a loved family member tries to help the addict see the reality of their lives. I've been sober for years, no desire to drink. My new addiction is/was my toxic relationship with my exBPDgf.
We read step 1 together and I put my exBPD name in place of alcohol in each reference.
He's right, I let this relationship become my God, my life, my obsession.
Now I move on into recovery one more time, as in the case of any substance abuse I may suffer set backs, all I can do it work to save my life. And this is life or death, misery at the least.
Step One: "We admitted we were powerless over (her/him)- that our lives had become unmanageable."
Stay away from my addictions, I may lose my son but if I don't stay away I will certainly lose my life.
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Sunfl0wer
`
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Gender:
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Relationship status: He moved out mid March
Posts: 2583
Re: Sponsor is pushing me to accept my obsession
«
Reply #1 on:
April 18, 2016, 11:12:41 PM »
. This sounds like a painful realization.
I am glad that you were able to share with your sponser and hear what he was conveying even though so painful.
While I realize that in AA, abstinence is the path for recovery, however, in OA (overeaters anonymous), one cannot abstain from their addiction. They instead learn planning and moderation I believe, or to abstain from specific behaviors or foods?
Maybe consider that your relationship as a partner with your ex is the addiction that requires abstinence, yet maybe there is a way to think of OA in terms of coparenting/parallel parenting.
Maybe discuss with sponser his thoughts regarding fathering your son?
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How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.~Anais Nin
JerryRG
Offline
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner
Posts: 1832
Re: Sponsor is pushing me to accept my obsession
«
Reply #2 on:
April 18, 2016, 11:28:09 PM »
Thank you Sunfl0wer
She accused me of raping her, the night she overdosed and I called 911 to save her life then I wept over her while she lay in recovery, I watched over her all night and watched come to the next day. And she says I raped her. How sick can anyone be?
Yes I wanted what she promised me in the honeymoon phase, yes she said she'd never leave me and it was forever, this is what I held on to, this became my addiction. For that I take responsibility but for her making me out to be a cold hearted ass who used her unconscious body, is something dreamed up from hell itself.
I pray I can forgive her, I pray she gets well, maybe she knows deep down inside how much I gave from my heart. Perhaps she knows she has not the love inside her to give to me.
I do not care anymore, she has dealt the final blow. She cannot take anymore from me.
And I know she will in the next step take my son from me as well and forever punish me for not being God.
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