I want to make it work and get my BPD back. Painted black.

[Lostinwonderland70]

What if se is just running. Scared of what where we were going. And she went back there as her "norm" no matter how bad it was but it was what she's know since 16

[Lostinwonderland70]

And she needed me to file. He allots her money on Fridays $100 a week for groceries and such. She tried to file 5 years ago and he fought it. She doesn't work.

[Mutt]

~ she needs you to file

~ her H gives her money for groceries and an allowance of sorts?

~ he won't let her get divorced I take it because he fought it?

~ she doesn't work

~ it's all she's know since she was an adolescent


What role do you see you're cast in this drama triangle diagram?

[Lostinwonderland70]

The rescuer. All this is thing I know to an extent. But we are past all that at points of us.

[EaglesJuju]

She appears to be heavily dependent on her husband. It is a cycle of dependency. Breaking dependency for her may not be easy, especially since she has been dependent on her husband for a very long time.  People who are highly dependent tend to feel uneasy/anxious at times when things are not familiar. 


   

[Lostinwonderland70]

Yes I agree. I've been told that same thing by several BPD's I've spoken with and they said that the stress goon on and the unsettled he caused was done on purpose by him because he knew it would drive her back there

[Lostinwonderland70]

Thank you. That's where I'm trying to get. Understanding and how to fix it and help her see things an realize them. What I can do to open communication with her. I know the other things associated and analyzing how I am and what I need to do while she's gone. I've got all that. I NEED HELP to reach her.

[Mutt]

Thank you. That's where I'm trying to get. Understanding and how to fix it and help her see things an realize them. What I can do to open communication with her. I know the other things associated and analyzing how I am and what I need to do while she's gone. I've got all that. I NEED HELP to reach her.

She has to realize these things on her own Lostinwonderland70. We can't help you there. I'm sorry.

[Lostinwonderland70]

No advice or words or examples of anything that works?

[Lostinwonderland70]

I'm sorry to have waisted yalls time

[EaglesJuju]

Thank you. That's where I'm trying to get. Understanding and how to fix it and help her see things an realize them. What I can do to open communication with her. I know the other things associated and analyzing how I am and what I need to do while she's gone. I've got all that. I NEED HELP to reach her.

I do not know how you can fix her dependency on her husband. That is something that she needs to break. 

If you have tried reaching her on the messenger and she has not responded there is not much you can do other than wait for her to reach out.  From my experience, talking about feelings/emotions can trigger a pwBPD.