>Nightmare

[Classicford]

I've recently split from my long term gf who has BPD for the second time only this time things are a whole lot worse than 2 years ago.
We have a 3 year old child which made it extremely hard to walk away again.
The 1st time we broke up in 2020 she got sectioned for 4 weeks I was left with our son and her 2 daughters that had recently moved back in with her after living with there father for 6 years. To cut a very long story short as there has been many many lows and not 2 many highs. I've had to leave as I couldn't take the insecurities any longer I have an ex wife and 2 children to her. Even though I wasn't seeing them or her for over a year it made no difference, totally isolating myself from friends and family was OK for a while but it soon started turning sour the switching moods got worse till I could no longer cope and hold my job down I had to leave. I'd sold my house and moved in with their women lost everything, back living with my mum at 40 I'm distraught. I know she has fully detached her self and and split from me in her head and looking for a new comfort pillow to fill with lies. That doesn't bother me but she's gone full blown destroy mode reported me for numerous accounts of assault. I'm on bail pending further investigation. I'm worried as I know how convincing and what an act and playing the wounded victim she plays like a Hollywood actress. She have everything in place doctors, therapists, fa, friends anyone who will listen convincing them how terrible I've been.
Just don't know what to do or think. I know I've got to totally get her out my head and life and never contact there be no co parenting I know that. To have to contemplate letting my son go is heartbreaking. I know as soon as she gets her claws into someone new she will straight up sticks without a thought and move.
I'm I doing the right thing ? Help

[ForeverDad]

If you have a case pending against you, then you have to take this very seriously.  Be aware that officialdom (courts, police, etc) have little resources to confirm or deny her allegations.  Since she has no proof of her claims, it's quite possible (but no guarantees) they will be ruled as "unsubstantiated".  However, since a case is already pending, then you cannot rely on that outcome.

She has a history of mental illness (sectioned briefly) that may cast her claims as unreliable.  Can you get such documentation entered as historical evidence?  Are you ready to End the relationship, seeing how dangerous to you it has become?  If so, then you could even deny the allegations and say this is some sort of "sour grapes" because the relationship was ending.

As I wrote above, the legal system may try to convince you the easy way out is to admit to some level misdeeds.  The problem with that is that such "plea deals" admit guilt and would cast you as an admitted perp, you'd not have a legal standing to continue stating you're innocent.

Do you have an experienced defense attorney?

Of course, you'd still be a father and the custody and parenting time schedule too would have to be resolved, but right now the big issue is the current claims.

[Classicford]

I'm not Continuing with the relationship No. I've recently bought a property and moving out of the area.
I agree that any admission by me will justify her so she can begin her cycle with someone new. She probably has someone lined up already as she's stopped hassling me and my family n friends ex wife ect. She must be talking to someone. A friend past me some information that she was back on a well known dating app where she found me. Going back to familiar ground. Seems strange if you just been brutally assaulted only 2 weeks ago to be looking for another man.
I have some evidence I'm gathering together some of the dates ect don't marry up. I also have a witness a fist aided that attended to her and says the claims are false.
I feel so stupid with child aswell. I've got nearly all my possessions stuck in her garage. Police said I could get them back but couldn't go myself so makes it really difficult.
I know I have a child with her but I can never have contact with this women again. I know the hospital where she got sectioned but I can't see them letting me have any information. I have a solicitor that was sat in interview on my questioning. He said the police seem to be on my side. It's very important to me that these charges get dropped or she's going to continue to fabricate story's and slander me to anyone who will listen. It would validate what she's saying if I'm found to be guilty in anyway.
I'm in right mess don't know where to turn or what to do. I wish that I'd found this site before hand maybe things would have turned out differently. I was in so deep I couldn't get out. I want to try remove this experience and part of my life out of my mind. And move on with a fresh start somewhere new. Thank you for the reply I'm very lonely and anxious at the moment.