Things were good

[Depression = 72% of members]

I am heartbroken, sad and exhausted.

BPD is overwhelming and confusing.  Yet BPD has made parts of this past week clearer to me.

My pwBPD has made so many positive improvements in his life in the past 6 months.  We were communicating better, business is good and has the potential to improve, he was taking better care of his health and generally things were looking positive.  His therapist commented that he was doing so well that he did not need to come back to see him for a month.

The more I try to process this past week, I think all the positive improvements were too much for him to bear.  Instead of risking losing them, he needed to blow things up.

I do not have a plan yet for the business.  That can not be fixed in a weekend. 

I am thankful to have this place to vent and learn and lean on. 

[coworkerfriend]

I am heartbroken, sad and exhausted.

BPD is overwhelming and confusing.  Yet BPD has made parts of this past week clearer to me.

My pwBPD has made so many positive improvements in his life in the past 6 months.  We were communicating better, business is good and has the potential to improve, he was taking better care of his health and generally things were looking positive.  His therapist commented that he was doing so well that he did not need to come back to see him for a month.

The more I try to process this past week, I think all the positive improvements were too much for him to bear.  Instead of risking losing them, he needed to blow things up.

I do not have a plan yet for the business.  That can not be fixed in a weekend. 

I am thankful to have this place to vent and learn and lean on. 

[RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING]

RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Rockylove]

   I feel for you... .  something rotten in the air all the way around this past week, it seems!  I'm also grateful to have you all to vent to... .  this is too big a burden to carry alone.

[patientandclear]

CWF -- 

It is so unfair that you can do everything right -- you can be one of the world's most adept partners of someone with BPD -- and it can still blow up like this.  The tools, the understanding, they really are not a solution.  When people say they allow you to not make it worse, that really is all we can do.  We cannot heal what goes wrong for them.

There have been several threads here recently from seasoned BPD partners about how sad their pwBPD are, not necessarily about them, just overall.  It's sobering and so important that we all understand that we cannot solve that.

I hope you do not feel pressure, either, from anyone here to take any particular steps.  This is a lot and it's going to be a challenge to assimilate this turn of events and what it means.  I'm sure you will take appropriate steps when you can and need to and when it's clear to you what to do.

Meanwhile, post away -- we are listening.

[Rockylove]

It is so unfair that you can do everything right -- you can be one of the world's most adept partners of someone with BPD -- and it can still blow up like this.  The tools, the understanding, they really are not a solution.  When people say they allow you to not make it worse, that really is all we can do.  We cannot heal what goes wrong for them.

Indeed!  I accept things as they are... .  no expectation of him changing, but hope that I can continue being strong and when I'm not feeling my inner strength, I'll be right here regrouping.