Peer/support meetings?

[Depression = 72% of members]

Hi everyone! New member here; first post.

1. Just curious if anyone knows of any online peer support group meetings for those of us that have a loved one with BPD? Whether thru BPDfamily or another organization? I attend codependents anonymous zoom groups but would like something more particular to coping with BPD loved ones.

2. If “no” to above, do these forum rules prevent us from organizing such groups, such as by sharing a zoom invite?

Thanks for any replies. I tried the search feature to see if this topic had already been posted but i could not find it in the results.

[CodaDad]

Hi everyone! New member here; first post.

1. Just curious if anyone knows of any online peer support group meetings for those of us that have a loved one with BPD? Whether thru BPDfamily or another organization? I attend codependents anonymous zoom groups but would like something more particular to coping with BPD loved ones.

2. If “no” to above, do these forum rules prevent us from organizing such groups, such as by sharing a zoom invite?

Thanks for any replies. I tried the search feature to see if this topic had already been posted but i could not find it in the results.

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[kells76]

Hi CodaDad, welcome to the group -- glad you're reaching out for more help and support. We all need that these days!

Also good to hear that you've checked out CODA type groups. Those can be really helpful to many people coping with dysfunctional relational dynamics.

While BPDFamily focuses on providing anonymous peer support groups, other reputable organizations do offer "face to face" groups. A well-regarded group that we can endorse is NEABPD's (National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder) Family Connections program, which you can check out here:

https://www.borderlinepersonalitydisorder.org/family-connections/

NEABPD describes their Family Connections program this way:

Family Connections™ is a free, evidence-based, 12-class course that meets in person for 2 hours and requires 1-2 hours of homework/practice weekly. It provides education, skills training, and support for people who are supporting a sufferer of Borderline Personality Disorder> (BPD)/Emotion Dysregulation (ED) or BPD/ED traits. Please note: Due to the pandemic, all courses are meeting virtually. ...

As regards your second question, because BPDFamily.com doesn't host face-to-face discussions and is built around anonymity, any such organizing would be considered "off-board", and would run afoul of our guidelines about confidentiality and about not promoting "off-line" consultations. If you're curious, don't hesitate to check out the guidelines here.

Hope that helps!

-kells76

[Notwendy]

I don't know how long you have been in Coda but I found that working with a sponsor in a 12 step program was sufficient for my concerns because, the work is self work. The dynamics between a disordered person and a co-dependent partner, child, or parent are remarkably similar and while it is the disordered person who may elicit our reaction, the program is focused on our response to that, our enabling behaviors, why we do them and how to change them.

The Family Connections program sounds very good and looks helpful for families committed to be the support person for someone with BPD. I have not had personal experience with it. My first glance is that it's specific to BPD for those who want to learn the best way to support someone with BPD. I am sure there's some discussion about enabling and co-dependency in there too.

While CODA isn't specific to how to support the person with the disorder or addiction, it does address enabling behaviors that may not be in that person's best interest. I also don't think it's about the group members needing to know how to help, but that they are "helping too much" and this isn't helping them or their family members. I think it's useful no matter what the other person's issues are, and a specific BPD CODA group isn't needed to be effective  

[SaltyDawg]

Randi Kreger who I believe is a founder of this website two decades ago has a newer website where there are several free Zoom meetings each week, which are moderated. 

You can find more information at:  https://groups.io/g/MovingForward

BPD family is website is much more responsive to specific questions on borderline issues that the groups.io website; however, if you are looking for face to face contact with others who are dealing with their pwBPD, I would suggest the above website in addition to the one kells recommended.  I signed up in the summer on the one kells recommended, and I am still on the waiting list for that one.  Or, you can pay $420 for more immediate access to one that is sponsored by Randi, but there is still over a month's wait for openings on that one.

[outhere]

There is a local organization where I am (Montreal, Quebec, Canada) that offers online meetups for family & friends of pwBPD. Presumably since it's online this would be open to anyone around the world.  https://amiquebec.org/calendar/

[CodaDad]

Thanks I attended one of the meetings at https://groups.io/g/MovingForward

It was very meaningful and I will continue to attend!