Might send her a note saying " thinking of you, but you tore up all the cards..."

[Depression = 72% of members]

Reading all the posts , taking it all in.

I think historically for the past three or four years, i have gottne her cards , candy, cute little bears etc... .one year she got me a card that said " i love you "

Then when she was mad about a week later, she confessed she only got me that card because " thats the only one they had at the dollar store, and yuour not even worth that, and thats " just what you say on valentines day, I reeally dont love you"'... .as a matter of fact i cant tell how many times she has told me ... " i dont love you "... .which hurt every time... .and then i would say " what about last week when we had sex and you said you loved me "... .she would reply... ." you cleaned the yard and were nice for a few days so i gave you sex , it means nothing to me... " again... .very hurtful... .so now i'm thinkg, does she just f----- everybody who helps her with something, like  her previous boyfriend was the pool guy... ?

She changed our plans last Thanksgiving, ignoring me to go hiking all day with another man, ( i found out she called him , aftrer they had been facebook friends for over a year and she knew he had a crush on her ) blew me off when i ask her out for her birthday, and went out with that same other man... .so shes been " friends with him " over a year now,,,im sure she will get her v day from from him... .i hate her with all my might as i write this... .why would i even stay in touch , what a   tramp... .and im sure later she will say " you didnt even get me anything and he did "... .so irritating ... i want to just slap her... ( not really , im not dangerous,,,but very annoyed and frustrated. )"

All of that being said... .for the first time on 7 years... .i will get her nothing... .i might send her a note =saying " thinking of you, but you tore up all the other cards i got you in the past and told me you didnt love me and broke up with me, so i didn't get you a card "... .however this might just trigger a rage... .so MAYBE THE ONLY move for my sanity is just letting the day pass and pretend shes dead.

Thoughts.?
Split from: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=320586.0

[dumpsterdog]

Reading all the posts , taking it all in.

I think historically for the past three or four years, i have gottne her cards , candy, cute little bears etc... .one year she got me a card that said " i love you "

Then when she was mad about a week later, she confessed she only got me that card because " thats the only one they had at the dollar store, and yuour not even worth that, and thats " just what you say on valentines day, I reeally dont love you"'... .as a matter of fact i cant tell how many times she has told me ... " i dont love you "... .which hurt every time... .and then i would say " what about last week when we had sex and you said you loved me "... .she would reply... ." you cleaned the yard and were nice for a few days so i gave you sex , it means nothing to me... " again... .very hurtful... .so now i'm thinkg, does she just f----- everybody who helps her with something, like  her previous boyfriend was the pool guy... ?

She changed our plans last Thanksgiving, ignoring me to go hiking all day with another man, ( i found out she called him , aftrer they had been facebook friends for over a year and she knew he had a crush on her ) blew me off when i ask her out for her birthday, and went out with that same other man... .so shes been " friends with him " over a year now,,,im sure she will get her v day from from him... .i hate her with all my might as i write this... .why would i even stay in touch , what a   tramp... .and im sure later she will say " you didnt even get me anything and he did "... .so irritating ... i want to just slap her... ( not really , im not dangerous,,,but very annoyed and frustrated. )"

All of that being said... .for the first time on 7 years... .i will get her nothing... .i might send her a note =saying " thinking of you, but you tore up all the other cards i got you in the past and told me you didnt love me and broke up with me, so i didn't get you a card "... .however this might just trigger a rage... .so MAYBE THE ONLY move for my sanity is just letting the day pass and pretend shes dead.

Thoughts.?
Split from: https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=320586.0

[PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES]

PLEASE - NO RUN MESSAGES This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members may appear frustrated but they are here for constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Skip]

so now I'm thinking, does she just ___ everybody who helps her with something, like her previous boyfriend was the pool guy? ... //...

I might send her a note saying " thinking of you, but you tore up all the other cards i got you in the past and told me you didnt love me and broke up with me, so i didn't get you a card "... .however this might just trigger a rage... .so MAYBE THE ONLY move for my sanity is just letting the day pass and pretend shes dead.

dumpsterdog, you are in a sad place, man. Really sad. You brain is running fast and bouncing from one extreme to another and back again.

We all care about you and want to help you.

I'd like to ask you to do a few things (or at least consider them).

1. Please see a psychiatrist for a med evaluation. Just one visit. I suspect that anti-anxiety medication would make your days better and bring you down to a steady state to work through this stuff. There is a lot to unpack.

2. Organize you thoughts when you write - you do a lot of stream of consciousness stuff, but if you slow down, just a little, you can get to thoughts that are a little deeper than "she was great, she was bad, I'm not going back, how do I go back". You really need to start taking each of these feeling and explore with others what is going on in your head... .and in other threads, who is she? Jumbling it all together just makes you more confused.

3. Using capitalization, standard punctuation, and paragraph break will help more of us readers respond to you.

4. And lastly, and most importantly, as you are given suggestions engage them a bit more - think about them - share how you feel about what is bing said... .like on this thread, tell us what to think about see a psychiatrist and get a meds evaluation.

We are here for you. We will walk with you everyday.

Skip

PS: It is never a good idea to contact a person who you are broken up with on  Valentines Day. If you are not actively seeing a women, know that this is a day for her to hear fro her parents and her active boyfriend (if there is one).

[dumpsterdog]

ok.skip thanks... .i know im going stream of consiousness,,or rather , these thoughts and words are just pouring through me... i'm angry, im hurt,,,and compassionate all at once... .thanks for the direction... i will try... .and you afre rihgt... i am going way too fast al the time.

[dumpsterdog]

The brief contact with her the other day didn't help matters at all... .i don't know how to process and email that says " I don't think we should talk "... .but she did tell me her dogs got in a fight and she was injured... .of course i want to know  how badly injuredm and if she is ok... .but she wont respond with any of that information... .why would she say that... .why not just dissapear... / I'm trying to figure out what it means. and its driving me nuts.

[Skip]

Can you post the text message here.

What do you think about a meds evaluation?

[dumpsterdog]

Thank you for trying to touch base, but I think it best not to talk.  I have been busy with the dogs, they got into a bad fight a few weeks ago.   I really thought Tango was going to kill Ryan his jaw was locked around his throat and I couldn't get him off.  I got hurt pretty bad with bites and bruises.   
I am trying to see if neutering will help.   Ryan went on last week... .Tango today. 
Because they need a special surgery they will take a long time to heal as well as the expense.  I just hope it will help.

I hope that your healing is going well

That was the exact email i received after caving and calling her severl times and leaving a vmail saying " please at least contact me and let me know you are safe. "

[dumpsterdog]

meds evaluation scares me a little because i don't want to be a zombie on meds...

[dumpsterdog]

The strange thing with this " dog fite " message is that... I just spoke to her 10 days ago, and she did not mention anything about, and about three weeks ago i talked to her every day... .so im wondering when this dogbite thing happened , and thinkng maybe it didnt at all... .I know she would have told me if she had been injured because she loves the drama... .and since getting that email, i have reached out and asked where she got bit , how many times etc... .and no repsonse... .wierd... .mind games ... .she seems to want me to think she is hurt, but not give details.

[Skip]

meds evaluation scares me a little because i don't want to be a zombie on meds...

Have you been a zombie on prescription care before?

[once removed]

meds evaluation scares me a little because i don't want to be a zombie on meds...

i tried meds. i did have a zombie like effect, but only for a couple of weeks. anti depressants and anti anxiety meds can take some time for your body to adjust to, but im glad i did it, it got me out of a pretty dark place and made things more manageable, and i wasnt on them forever.

I'm trying to figure out what it means. and its driving me nuts.

what i read is that she wants some space, at least for right now. some space could do you both well, it tends to lend itself toward healing. what do you think?

[dumpsterdog]

not really... .but i did take some anti depressants about 10 years ago... and i just felt wierd about it... cant explain... .just like getting the zaps etc... .made me feel " not in control "
i guess is the best way to say it... and made me feel defective

[Skip]

I used zanex back when... .

I only took a quarter tab when I was anxious - rarely did I need a second dose in a day. It works fast.

I might start with something that is mild and fast acting and episodic (take when needed).

[dumpsterdog]

I had a real problem wiht something fast acting... .cocaine... .but i do not want to go back there... .no way...

[Skip]

The reason you see a psychiatrist is so he can test medicines on you and get a good fit - not give you a lobotomy. You are an emotional mess. You are trashing her one minute and ready to pack your bag and travel to see her the next.

You have to get yourself in control.

OK, back to the email.

You asked her to contact you and let you know she was safe. She sent you a note and let you know she was save.  The next step is... .

Thanks for letting me know. Get well soon.

And leave it alone. Let this communication exchange settle in her mind. They fact that you are not insulting her, guilting her, or over perusing her, will make the next communication easier.

[dumpsterdog]

Ok Skip... all points understood... .thanks