I finally realized I am not an emotional caretaker. Occasionally, I do the job like a star. Yet, I love being whoever I am in any given moment. I understand this may be selfish and occasionally hurt others, for example on my more opinionated invalidating days. This also doesn’t mean I won’t continue to practice communication skills, etc. as these are beneficial for life, others and help me grow. It just means I am sticking with variety and some natural evolution.
I want to thank the Board for emphasizing the REQUIREMENT of being an emotional caretaker to partner with pwBPD. I kept fighting the Board internally on this one… wanting to find fault in this. My second realization is I can’t find fault. Yes, it isn't a coincidence both realizations happened around the same time
Logic says if I am not an emotional caretaker and require being one for partnership with pwBPD, then I can’t partner. To that end, this means my ex will have to get better on his own first before any possibility of a romantic relationship. (He won’t get help unless he knows we’ll be together
yes). I am saddened by this reality. Not sure where I choose to go from here but don't need to make a decision soon, thankfully.
I thought I would share for those toiling with this too.
P.S. For those who are emotional caretakers especially the ones on this board, you should receive major life awards! Cheers to you
