20 missed calls a day, crying and being angry… it’s like walking on the sharpest and most hurtful egg shells.
@lilyflower I'm so sorry you're going through this. This is my mother. We are in opposite time zones, and I wake up to 15+ missed calls and angry text messages.
It's very hard. What has helped me is put my phone on "Do Not Disturb mode" (DND) in the evening until the morning. But when DND is off, I still have calls/texts from her silenced. This way, I don't see a notification on my screen with her name on it because it triggers me and gives me a "pit in my stomach" feeling.
What I also noticed is that she is "better" during day time. When she calls/texts me at 2AM her time, I don't ever respond because she is horrible at night. It seems the absence of daylight makes her more hostile and paranoid. I typically wait several hours until the sun is out on her side of the world before I attempt any interaction.
My elderly dBPD mom used to call me nonstop if I didn't answer the phone. Before smartphones, she would use up the whole cassette tape of my answering machine crying that I was dead and pleading for me to answer just in case I wasn't dead. She would scream and call me horrible names once I did answer.
No one ever gets used to this. It helps to vent. If you don't already, ignore some of the daily calls for your own peace of mind.
@TelHill - You are right. It's not something anyone can get used to.
I shared a recent unpleasant incident with my mother with one of my friends. She is someone with a normal mother. It was my mistake to share it with her, but after trying to hear me out, she eventually said, "just let her words go into one ear and out another". As if it's easy to do that.
