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Author Topic: Back from visiting my dd and family.  (Read 417 times)
somuchlove
Formerly " t6450"
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« on: March 22, 2013, 08:02:43 PM »

Just letting those of you know, that were so helpful in suggestions and listening to me in all my panic of all that was going on before we decided to go visit.   I wanted to let you know that it went very well.  We had a wonderful time with gchildren.  Stayed in motel which was a good idea, gave everyone space and I think took pressure off our dd.  When we got there the house looked great, stew was in the crock pot and was very nice.  Gson's were excited because they had cleaned their rooms, said mommy was going around crazy making everyone clean.     Our little g daughter, of whom we hadn't seen since she was 7 months old and is now 15 months old was delightful. 

We never got into any discussions which was ok I think.  Got some smiles out of dd.  She looked tired and I know the stress of all that is going on with her and bf is very much on her mind.  They did take a day while we were there to go spend the day skiing and one evening to go out for dinner and movie.   Don't really know what is going on with them but perhaps we helped get her in a better place for now or at least break a little of the cycle she was on.  I know that tomorrow is another day and there will be another phone call, panic, anger, etc but not right now.   

I really felt it best not to bring up anything.  OUr main goal was to enjoy the gkids, love em', and show dd that we love her, and care enough to travel to spend time with her. 

The other good thing was my hubby started reading one of my books while on the plane.  He has always said, I know I understand, ( he has his PHD. in Education and deals with stuff all the time.  He has a degree in psycology as well.)  But after reading  a couple chapters in the book he said,  You are right,  BPD is diffferent.  He understood, validating, etc but just didn't understand the mind of a person with BPD. 

I am thankful for this good week.  I know there is a lot to come as many decisions has to be made by my dd with bf, ex moving, etc.  Bf is really behind in bills, driving with out a drivers licensen, cause he lost it with 3 tickets, needs to take some course, humm wonder how he will get to work if he gets caught.  They just live different that we do.  Oh well, I can't worry about that. 

Thanks to all my wonderful supporters here.  Without you I don't think we would have gone,  I would have been a mess.  I am sure I will be here again soon with more issues but need to say thinks so much.   
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Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders
jellibeans
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« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2013, 08:57:22 PM »

thank you for the update... .  I was hoping all would go well for you and i know how nervous you were before you left... .  really so happy for you... .  
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qcarolr
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« Reply #2 on: March 22, 2013, 09:59:27 PM »

AWESOME Smiling (click to insert in post)  So happy for you and all your family. Such a gift you have shared with your D, gkids and yourselves.  qcr  
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The best criticism of the bad is the practice of the better. (Dom Helder)
BioAdoptMom3
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« Reply #3 on: March 22, 2013, 10:04:50 PM »

That is great to hear!  It sounds like your visit was peaceful and fulfilling!  I'm glad you went and glad it went well  Smiling (click to insert in post)!
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swampped
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« Reply #4 on: March 22, 2013, 10:12:47 PM »

Welcome home, somuchlove!  I am so very glad that the trip went well.  What a gift!  And I don't think we ALWAYS have to have deep discussions with our pwBPD.  Sometimes it is so good to just "be"       
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mggt
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« Reply #5 on: March 23, 2013, 07:06:59 AM »

So glad you had a great time with grandkids and d.  Welcome Home   
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griz
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« Reply #6 on: March 23, 2013, 09:06:51 AM »

Welcome home and I am so glad your trip went so well.  I couldn't agree with swampped more. Sometimes it is good to just BE.  I think we need to relearn this. 

Griz
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suchsadness
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« Reply #7 on: March 23, 2013, 08:59:49 PM »

Glad to hear things worked out so well and that you enjoyed your little ones... .  that feels so good, doesn't it?

Doing the right thing (click to insert in post)
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Kate4queen
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« Reply #8 on: March 25, 2013, 03:06:58 PM »

That's really nice to hear, Smiling (click to insert in post)
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