You really have two choices:
1) explain to him it hurts you when he acts that way and hope he sees the errors of his ways
2) leave him
Notice changing him isn't an option.
Although at one point in my life I would have probably concurred with the two choices - I can not now. The thought process is entirely too black and white. While it is true you can't "change him" - that is an exercise in futility with just about anyone... . there are more options and choices besides the two.
For whatever the reason (children, other family, financial, security, love, etc) - there are other things you can do... . all of which start with you.
You are justified in feeling however you feel - but depending on the "minimizing" - it is not always abuse. If he tells you you are too sensitive, touchy, whatever... . it may not be considered abuse. There are time where a person can be too hypersensitive, touchy or whatever (and it can be due to a whole smattering of reasons) - but it isn't necessarily abuse.
Maybe they are being to insensitive to how you are feeling - maybe they are going through some thing in their own head which make you two run on different planes. Maybe he is hot when you are cold. Maybe you are hot when he is cold.
It's called unshared expectations.
Another option, choice you could have is to focus some time on yourself and what you need - take some time to calm down and maybe back away from some of the chaos so you have time to clear your head.
Maybe you can speak with someone (I know I have had a counselor/therapist for two plus years and it has really helped me). Maybe there is marriage counseling. Maybe there can be a gentle nudging to get him into sessions.
I look at it like this - if I were married to a problem drinker and her substance abuse was "getting out of hand"... . I don't think there are only two choices (stop drinking or leave). There are other options.
Now... . if those other options are exhausted... . then the list get whittled down.
But a true, healthy r/s means you look at your options to try and obtain the wellness balance you want and need. And a simple one-two punch (fix it or I'm out) may not be the best way to obtain a resolution.
If he is suffering from a Personality Disorder - then he is ill. If you love him, love yourself (your family and all the like) - there is a choice to "work the problem". Not try and fix him or make him change... . but work the problem... . if that is something you want to do.
But you have to get to a place, even for a little bit, where you can focus and slow down some of the chaos so you can think, heal and feel.