Any ideas on my partner's psychiatrist appointment?

[Depression = 72% of members]

We actually had been waiting for it jan/feb, and it'll be the next monday finally. He might change the date because, when we were booking the appointment, we didn't know when his classes would be in the new semester, so he might be considering rescheduling the date because it'll be hard for him to follow up on his classes after not attending even for a session.

I asked him last night if he was going to visit the psychiatrist anyway? And he got so mad, like it was a very silly idea at all. Maybe it wasn't the best time to ask because he was suicidal (and still is), but that's what makes me worry a lot. I know many problems can't be solved only with medications, but I think it's the best first step that he can take, to help him cope with all the harsh emotions he's feeling right now and manage his daily life better, until we find a proper therapist.

I know he's an adult, and maybe it's not my responsibility, but I can't just sit here and watch him struggle to death without help. Any ideas on how to convince him to get help?

[Bella2798]

We actually had been waiting for it jan/feb, and it'll be the next monday finally. He might change the date because, when we were booking the appointment, we didn't know when his classes would be in the new semester, so he might be considering rescheduling the date because it'll be hard for him to follow up on his classes after not attending even for a session.

I asked him last night if he was going to visit the psychiatrist anyway? And he got so mad, like it was a very silly idea at all. Maybe it wasn't the best time to ask because he was suicidal (and still is), but that's what makes me worry a lot. I know many problems can't be solved only with medications, but I think it's the best first step that he can take, to help him cope with all the harsh emotions he's feeling right now and manage his daily life better, until we find a proper therapist.

I know he's an adult, and maybe it's not my responsibility, but I can't just sit here and watch him struggle to death without help. Any ideas on how to convince him to get help?

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[Notwendy]

Understandably, this is very concerning to you. As much as we wish the person we care about would seek out mental health- there's nothing we can do to make them do that and even if we took them ourselves, we have no control over what they say or do, one on one with the provider.

The willingness to work with a therapist is really an individual choice and is up to them.

If someone is seriously threatening self harm, they need medical intervention. The most we can do is call emergency help to go evaluate him. If you believe he is in danger, then do that.

[Bella2798]

I can't really know when he's in immediate danger Notwendy. That's also one problem. I've realized he sometimes have suicidal behaviors as a coping mechanism to feel better, but as he has a background of commiting suicide once (although he said he didn't have the hard intention to do that, and his father which I know is really manipulative, pressured him) I can't risk it too.

[Notwendy]

Realistically, what can you do being that you two are in two different countries? You can't watch him or be there with him all the time?

I understand the concern as we also are concerned about BPD mother. We hope she's OK and want the best for her.

But what are our choices? We don't live close enough to her to watch her all the time and if we did live closer to her, would we want to watch her 24/7?

No, we have other responsibilities- jobs, families.

All we can do is the best we can with the situation we are in. That is, if we are worried, we can call 911 to go check on her. If we don't feel it's an emergency, we can call a neighbor to go check on her. This is the best we can possibly do with the choices we have.

From a distance, those are your two choices. Call emergency or someone to check on him. Your other choice is to move there and stay with him if you feel you need to do this and want to do this.

[waverider]

Calling emergency when you think suicidal threats are real is a good move as that will get psychiatric team involved. It can also minimize it being used in a flippant way to emotionally manipulate you, even if unintentionally.

Putting all your eggs in one basket of an upcoming psychiatrist appointment can be wishful thinking as often nothing comes of it long term, and you are still stuck with the same can of worms but feeling even more frustrated.

I have given up on my wife going to any psychiatrists or psychologists as she simply uses them to try to validate her victimhood or pin her obsessions on a new magic tablet, which usually does nothing but add to the smorgasbord of tablets she is addicted to. She is not there to try to modify her own way of thinking and acting. She tells them distorted nonsense, and regardless of what they may say she hears something else.

[Sophia1978]

It sounds like you're in a difficult situation with your partner's mental health, and I can understand why you're worried about his well-being. It's good that he has a psychiatrist appointment coming up, as this can be an important step in managing his mental health. However, it's also important to remember that ultimately it's up to him to decide whether or not to seek treatment.

If you believe that your partner is in immediate danger of harming himself, it may be necessary to contact emergency services or a crisis hotline for immediate help. You can also encourage your partner to reach out to a therapist or mental health professional for ongoing support, but it's important to respect his decision and not pressure him into seeking help if he's not ready.

In the meantime, there are things you can do to support your partner's mental health, such as encouraging him to engage in self-care activities like exercise, spending time outdoors, or practicing relaxation techniques. You can also offer to be a listening ear and provide emotional support when he needs it.

It's also important to take care of yourself during this difficult time. Supporting someone with mental health issues can be emotionally draining, so make sure you're taking time to prioritize your own self-care needs and seek support if you need it.

Remember that recovery from mental illness is a journey, and there may be ups and downs along the way. With patience, understanding, and ongoing support, your partner can work towards managing his mental health and living a fulfilling life.