Who is a "first responder"?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

In many posts here I've stated "first responders" are the officers, EMTs and paramedics that respond to the 911, 999 or whatever emergency system in our area.  But I heard a national radio talk show host ask that question this morning and he made an observation that made me think again about our situations too.  He was talking about the terrorist's bloody attack over the weekend in Florida.  Also, in the second hour he mentioned he had merged thoughts expressed by some youths' responses as well.

What he said was, "We are the first responders.  It takes time for the emergency responders, the professionals, to arrive."

That made me think, before I filed for divorce, before I separated, even before I called 911 that fateful day, I had the duty as first responder.  I knew the family in depth.  I knew what usually worked and what usually didn't work.  I knew thing were going down hill, fast.  My then-spouse wasn't improving, rather she was causing the marriage to implode.  It was up to me to make the call and bring in the other responders.

Many here have remarked that they too had delayed taking action as I had, hoping vainly that their dilemma could be resolved without seeking outside help.  Sadly, delays don't usually work when dealing with people with acting-out PDs.

merriam-webster.com states that the first use of the term was in 1970, so the phrase has been around for a long time.

[ForeverDad]

In many posts here I've stated "first responders" are the officers, EMTs and paramedics that respond to the 911, 999 or whatever emergency system in our area.  But I heard a national radio talk show host ask that question this morning and he made an observation that made me think again about our situations too.  He was talking about the terrorist's bloody attack over the weekend in Florida.  Also, in the second hour he mentioned he had merged thoughts expressed by some youths' responses as well.

What he said was, "We are the first responders.  It takes time for the emergency responders, the professionals, to arrive."

That made me think, before I filed for divorce, before I separated, even before I called 911 that fateful day, I had the duty as first responder.  I knew the family in depth.  I knew what usually worked and what usually didn't work.  I knew thing were going down hill, fast.  My then-spouse wasn't improving, rather she was causing the marriage to implode.  It was up to me to make the call and bring in the other responders.

Many here have remarked that they too had delayed taking action as I had, hoping vainly that their dilemma could be resolved without seeking outside help.  Sadly, delays don't usually work when dealing with people with acting-out PDs.

merriam-webster.com states that the first use of the term was in 1970, so the phrase has been around for a long time.

[Matt]

Some people tend to over-react.  I tend to under-react.  I suspect that's pretty hard-wired;  I realized many years ago that when stuff happens, I under-react... .and I still do it.

Under-reacting has some big benefits;  you get time to think.  But some drawbacks too.

I recently had the experience of dealing with a family member who was really drunk.  Another family member and I tried to get him arrested so he'd spend the night in jail like Otis in "The Andy Griffith Show"... .but we couldn't get the police to respond.  It reminded me that the police aren't really very good resources for most situations;  we more-or-less sober and more-or-less sane adults need to solve most of our own problems.

"First responders" like police and firefighters are valuable resources in some situations.  But in many others, we better figure out how to manage them ourselves, because public employees just don't respond in a timely way.

[ReclaimingMyLife]

Great post, ForeverDad.  Thank you for sharing this.  Absolutely worth remembering... .WE are the first-responders.  I can only imagine how my r/s might have turned out differently (ie, ended QUICKLY) had I been been an adept first-responder at the first sign of trouble.  Lesson learned for sure.  I pray I can better execute this down the road.  Thanks again!

[Lilyroze]

I am an artist, and have a long wall behind my desk with my art work, and quote wall. It is inspiring and beautiful to many who see it. This was one of the most helpful posts, I have seen on here. I am printing it out and putting on my wall. TY so much.

ForeverDad, I wanted to personally thank you for all your posts and yours to me in this part of the forum. I have always been the caretaker, especially with him ill, your posts have made me accountable to put the kids and I first in this new journey and endeavour. I can't let the crazy person drive the bus. I mean no disrespect it is just he has had many socio-path incidents lately and must now be addressed.