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Author Topic: Entitlement & Lack of Empathy  (Read 673 times)
Mable
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« on: March 03, 2013, 06:16:14 PM »

Ok, I think I've come to the conclusion that without a good empathy trait a person will be more likely to be more entitled.  But with the BPD, it's almost impossible to be empathetic to others as well, their entitlement grows. 

I know that we nons are supposed to be as validating as we can, but how do you do that at the same time you're being taking advantage of by the BPD?

Asking this, I should tell you that I am asked many favors by the BPD & now is not a good time for me.  Many bad happenings (health wise) to me & the BPD knows about it, but still can't stop themselves from not only asking but expecting favors.

Dealing with my BPD, I've tried really hard to validate her since I've learned about that technique.  But I am finding it impossible to both validate her & protect me, without having to literally recite the exact reasons why I can't help her (and frankly, I'm just exhausted by it and not to mention I don't even get asked how I am!)  And I am ok with saying no, it's not that, it's the process & exhaustion involved with saying no because of the extra validation aspect & my health issue just exhausts me to begin with. 

Ok, so when entitlement & lack of empathy go hand in hand, what is the best way to address it with a BPD?  Validation does not seem to be working here for the BPD or for me.
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GeekyGirl
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Parent
Relationship status: Married
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« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2013, 06:48:34 PM »

You can show someone empathy and validate while you set boundaries. Have you tried SET (TOOLS: S.E.T. - Support, Empathy and Truth)? It's a good tool to use to explain that you understand where the other person is coming from, but then set the boundary (the truth).
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