Ex trying to get under my skin?

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Hey everyone, my Ex was diagnosed bipolar and after our breakup things didn't add up and I stumbled across this website after googling some symptoms. I was amazed how exactly everything matched up to Article 1 and the other symptoms so I strongly believe she has BPD.

For a small bit of back story we were in a LDR, she up at school and my 10 hours away. We broke up because I caught her cheating with an old fling but then she started texting me two weeks later and I got sucked back in. Helped her move into a new place at school with her dad until school started. The whole push pull thing happens then. I am going to drive up to see her and two days before she ignores me until I call her out and she says she is depressed and we will just be miserable. Two days later after the cancellation she calls me and is sad because she misses me. Two weeks before she comes down to go to her psychiatry appointment and to hang out with me, she is calling me crying about how much she misses me and how she is "... .  afraid something is going to change". The week she is down she is talking about her ex-boyfriend constantly. This ex-boyfriend she fell out of love with and devalued... .  she told me he threw beer cans at her head and verbally abused her. She is sick with strep throat the entire time and misses her psychiatry appointment. She tells me she is very depressed and thinking of cutting herself. She cut all of her hair off the week before. I tell her to drop her classes and come down for psychiatry, and she agrees. She leaves her email logged into my computer and I catch her planning to meet up with her ex and call her out on it... .  she says they only talked a little and nothing more.

When she comes down she tells me we should talk after she has been to therapy a little bit and I discover that she immediately goes and hangs out with him and I break up with her. After two weeks of non-closure she finally comes by to get her stuff and tells me that she had sex with him, that he tried to commit suicide two weeks ago and she isn't getting involved, that she needs to be alone... .  I wish her the best of luck, find this website and go no contact.

Anyway, I find out a month later they are in a relationship and it really hurts but this website and forum really helped me to see it was for the best. Now, this last Sunday I get a call at 5:30AM from her, but I ignore it. I log into Facebook and see that her mom (who is also most definitely BPD, NPD, Histrionic) posted a vague status asking people to pray for her family with a bunch of concerned comments. Later she deletes it. I don't care to find out what happened.

A mutual friend of me and my Ex is having an art show this Sunday, I ask her if my Ex is going to be there and she says no she is up at school so I buy a (rather expensive) ticket. A day later I find out my Ex is now going... .  saying if she sees me she sees me we are both adults. I ask her why I thought she was at school and she says she got in an argument with her mom and was going to leave early to go to school because of it but now wants to stay because she has never been to one of her art shows.

I really want to go, should I? Based on her past un-empathetic and manipulative behavior towards me I know she will be there flaunting him, being lovey dovey. I'm afraid I will be very hurt by going but I don't want her to have the power to dictate where I go. Is she doing this just to f*** with me?

[ConfusedEx]

Hey everyone, my Ex was diagnosed bipolar and after our breakup things didn't add up and I stumbled across this website after googling some symptoms. I was amazed how exactly everything matched up to Article 1 and the other symptoms so I strongly believe she has BPD.

For a small bit of back story we were in a LDR, she up at school and my 10 hours away. We broke up because I caught her cheating with an old fling but then she started texting me two weeks later and I got sucked back in. Helped her move into a new place at school with her dad until school started. The whole push pull thing happens then. I am going to drive up to see her and two days before she ignores me until I call her out and she says she is depressed and we will just be miserable. Two days later after the cancellation she calls me and is sad because she misses me. Two weeks before she comes down to go to her psychiatry appointment and to hang out with me, she is calling me crying about how much she misses me and how she is "... .  afraid something is going to change". The week she is down she is talking about her ex-boyfriend constantly. This ex-boyfriend she fell out of love with and devalued... .  she told me he threw beer cans at her head and verbally abused her. She is sick with strep throat the entire time and misses her psychiatry appointment. She tells me she is very depressed and thinking of cutting herself. She cut all of her hair off the week before. I tell her to drop her classes and come down for psychiatry, and she agrees. She leaves her email logged into my computer and I catch her planning to meet up with her ex and call her out on it... .  she says they only talked a little and nothing more.

When she comes down she tells me we should talk after she has been to therapy a little bit and I discover that she immediately goes and hangs out with him and I break up with her. After two weeks of non-closure she finally comes by to get her stuff and tells me that she had sex with him, that he tried to commit suicide two weeks ago and she isn't getting involved, that she needs to be alone... .  I wish her the best of luck, find this website and go no contact.

Anyway, I find out a month later they are in a relationship and it really hurts but this website and forum really helped me to see it was for the best. Now, this last Sunday I get a call at 5:30AM from her, but I ignore it. I log into Facebook and see that her mom (who is also most definitely BPD, NPD, Histrionic) posted a vague status asking people to pray for her family with a bunch of concerned comments. Later she deletes it. I don't care to find out what happened.

A mutual friend of me and my Ex is having an art show this Sunday, I ask her if my Ex is going to be there and she says no she is up at school so I buy a (rather expensive) ticket. A day later I find out my Ex is now going... .  saying if she sees me she sees me we are both adults. I ask her why I thought she was at school and she says she got in an argument with her mom and was going to leave early to go to school because of it but now wants to stay because she has never been to one of her art shows.

I really want to go, should I? Based on her past un-empathetic and manipulative behavior towards me I know she will be there flaunting him, being lovey dovey. I'm afraid I will be very hurt by going but I don't want her to have the power to dictate where I go. Is she doing this just to f*** with me?

[seeking balance]

No, she is likely not doing this to screw with you... .  she is living her life in the moment.

I am sorry you are hurt... .  sometimes we are so in the FOG (fear,obligation,guilt) that we forget to do the things that can make us feel better.

Regarding the show, you can go and be on high alert.  If you see ex then choose to leave.

Or, not go... .  no drama to worry about, but it will be sad.

Whichever direction you choose will have difficult emotions attached - only you know which action is best for you.

Hang in there,

SB

[ConfusedEx]

No, she is likely not doing this to screw with you... .  she is living her life in the moment.

I am sorry you are hurt... .  sometimes we are so in the FOG (fear,obligation,guilt) that we forget to do the things that can make us feel better.

Regarding the show, you can go and be on high alert.  If you see ex then choose to leave.

Or, not go... .  no drama to worry about, but it will be sad.

Whichever direction you choose will have difficult emotions attached - only you know which action is best for you.

Hang in there,

SB

Thank you. What do you think is up with her calling me at 530 in the morning?

[seeking balance]

No, she is likely not doing this to screw with you... .  she is living her life in the moment.

I am sorry you are hurt... .  sometimes we are so in the FOG (fear,obligation,guilt) that we forget to do the things that can make us feel better.

Regarding the show, you can go and be on high alert.  If you see ex then choose to leave.

Or, not go... .  no drama to worry about, but it will be sad.

Whichever direction you choose will have difficult emotions attached - only you know which action is best for you.

Hang in there,

SB

Thank you. What do you think is up with her calling me at 530 in the morning?

Block her number and you won't have to have the "what does this mean" in your head ... .  No idea what it means other than she doesn't seem to respect boundaries,